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  • Writer's pictureSeriously Sinister Podcast

EP 138: Chugging Down the Tracks of Lust (Transcript)

Below, you will find the Youtube transcript of the episode. The accuracy isn't perfect. Feel free to listen along with this player!









live laugh larsy discusses true Petty crimes that may be disturbing to some or could be easy listening to all you

Psychopaths out there all stories are based on actual events eh but details

may vary listener discretion is not

advised

live laugh welcome to live laugh larsy it's

the first snowfall of the season and I am not okay this is Trevon and I am

Amanda and OMG Trevon wow I was just telling you about how it has happened

the snow has fallen here in Kansas City and driving over here was totally fine

until I pulled on to your street which was super icy at the start yeah you'd

think us being really close to a school they would do a little better job of keeping these close streets taken care of but there's a couple they don't care

about it's icy out in these streets it really is so Trevon what is your Dreadful dilemma my Dreadful dilemma is

that I have my original car back I saw that as I pulled in so they had told me

that the part is in it it shifts good and I said oh great does the key come out of it now and they're like oh no the

key doesn't come out of it and I'm like well we got to figure that out I paid for an hour of diag time which is just

under $200 oh my God and they said oh yeah there's something inside of your shifter that's broken we've got a rubber

band around some piece that allows it to shift but it can't release your key but they said come on a work day and we'll

teach you how to get to release so then you can at least not have to leave your key in your car at your house so I took

PTO that I didn't really have much of off to go up there to get taught and everybody there told me oh well the tech

that actually did it he took the day off so nobody can show you how to do this okay whatever oh my God so I had to

drive it all the way back home and I finally found out that there is a piece that's broken it it doesn't read the

gears correctly and since it doesn't know it's in park it's set to where it won't let the key out because it doesn't want you to like try to turn off your

car take out the key and it still being drive or something oh okay so every time I want to release the key I have to put

it in park turn it off and go disconnect the battery what a journey so what are you going to do with this car my goal

was the second I got it back I was like clock's ticking I'm going to try to get this thing in my driveway and sold by this afternoon but then after this

problem came up I'm like no because if I tell somebody the only way to take the key out is by using the battery then

right somebody's like well I'm not going to pay this much for it and then you're going to sell it right after you get it fixed the second it's fixed it's out of

here dang rip you know that's a nice little car it needed AC yeah I mean the

Heat's going to work great for the winter that's true well Trev and I also have a dreadful dilemma this week and

this one might get a little weird but I think I just have to share it anyway all right I have a feeling this

episode's going to be really weird do you yeah I just have a feeling well something really Dreadful has been going

on ever since I purchased a bedet attachment to my toilet oh I still want

to get one of those you need to but just be warned okay Trevon just be warned this is my my warning to all I'm spoiled

now I'm completely and utterly spoiled by my bedet and every other toilet that

I use just will never do it justice I get that that's really the only Dreadful part about it I freaking love it

everyone should get one it's great when you have messy children too it's good

for so many reasons but when I sit on just a regular old toilet seat now like

pish posh applesauce yeah you're way above my old toilet up there well the

attachments only like what 20 bucks maybe it's not expensive or like bougie

or anything but I just love it maybe I'll put that on my Christmas list just one of those things that you would never

get yourself but you've always kind of wanted yes oh my God that is the perfect Christmas list item I'm curious to see

if anyone else puts that on their list you guys should write in or just give everybody you know a bedet for Christmas

my parents wouldn't know what to do with that they' be like what oh water fountain for your butthole you know what

butth holes need that hydration too guys so we are going to be doing a round of

two truths and a lie I've got three wires which one do I cut I'll give you two truths and a lie oh wait we don't

have time for this I am very curious Trevon how you

will do on this segment you know te truth and a lie is kind of one of my favorites I think is it I think I really

like it too do you know much about trains no not really there was a weird kid in my school that Drew train tracks

a lot that's about the most I know about trains oh I mean we worked at a train company what isn't that weird that is so

true what do you mean you know nothing about trains we worked at a repair place that sold parts for trains you probably

know more than any of us because you were around like a ton of different parts yeah I was the parts manager oh my

God and instead of filters they would just buy big boxes ofse hair and you

would shove the horse hair inside the brakes and then anything that came out chunky would get caught by all this

coarse horse hair so there's a fun fact how did I not know that and I worked there I don't know but we had boxes that

were like 60 lbs of pure horse hair so they just like paid for someone to trim their horse's man and give it to them I

guess this is mind-blowing facts ladies and gents I'm a little afraid you might

get this one right seems like you are a lot more knowledgeable than you were letting on so so my two truths and a lie

will be about trains statement number one trains are estimated to kill one

person every 100 minutes statement number two more than 80% of Crossings

lack adquate warning devices such as lights or Gates or statement three the

largest train accident took the lives of 800 passengers this is a tough one because I

don't know much about the history of trains but I'm going to say that I believe C is the lie you're

right okay I totally thought because I was really struggling to spit be out I

thought you were going to think that one was the lie and I was like gosh dang it I really no that one felt super true

okay you are so smart so do you think that the largest accident took more

lives than 800 or less 800 is a lot but I'm going to go with more okay okay and

you are also correct oh I'm so unhappy to hear that I'm just going to explain

the LIE cuz I feel like the first two are pretty self-explanatory I mean one

person every 100 minutes is a little much it is but I'm also not that surprised right and then more than 80%

of Crossings lack the appropriate warning like what in the hell that has

got to change we grew up in rural Midwest we know that I do know that

let me go ahead and explain this part a little bit I wanted to give the website

TBS news.net a little shout out because they had a lot of good information on this so the world's deadliest rail

tragedy took place on the 26th of December in 2004 when the queen of the

sea I guess that was the name of the train was destroyed by the Indian Ocean

tsunami it was Christmas weekend and the eight train cars were packed with Travelers according to the reports the

crowded passenger train was struck by two waves near a village in its route to the southern city of gal from the

Columbo Fort station a massive wave slammed into the train smashing it against the trees and houses that

bordered the track 1,500 tickets were sold for the trip but an estimated 200

people boarded the train at various stops without tickets so as a result the

death toll was estimated to be at least 1,700 people holy hell so you said they

were getting on the train to escape it so that's why it was so packed or did I just make that in my head I might have just made that up oh no no no no it was

Christmas weekend so they were probably traveling to get places I don't think that they were even thinking about the

Tsunami for it to be that big mhm that totally makes it feel kind of like an

outlier not only is it a train crash but it's also a natural disaster plus a train crash I know I know so that was

one thing that made me hesitate on saying higher than 800 but yeah that makes total sense when you got a mixed like that yeah at first I was finding a

lot of train crashes and historical crashes that happened here in the US but

none of them compared to some of them outside of the US the top two that I

found were both because of natural disasters occurring while people were on a train so yeah having both of those two

forces combined yeah I haven't traveled by train that much but I didn't think that they could even hold that many

people yeah that's kind of what I thought too that's so many but I don't know certain places probably have gigantic ones right not us around here

no well damn you killed it I am surprised you knew God dang it thank you you know I try really hard you're a

train expert and as I am a train expert I'm wondering if you're an expert on what I'm going to talk about okay do you

know much about boobs I think I know a thing or two

about boobs o that's a good answer so I did some research on bubes okay and I

would like to give you the two truths and a lie about boobs I'm so ready statement number one fatal Fury 2 was

the first video game to have breast physics statement number two Johnny Cash

named his daughter after his wife's breasts or statement number three PornHub is the largest contributor to

breast cancer research I'm going to have to go Trevon with I think that be is the

LIE only because please Johnny please say it ain't so you are incorrect no

freaking way Johnny Cash named his daughter Roseanne after his nickname for his wife viven's breasts left one being

rose right one being an no he combined the names of the tatas

mhm what I know I found that pretty amazing oh God but the actual untruth is

number number three PornHub is not the largest contributor to breast cancer research oh but I will say there is a

funny story that goes with PornHub and breast cancer research and I'm coming

from Wikipedia But PornHub hosted a save the boobs campaign in august2 for every

30 videos viewed in pornhub's big tit or small tit category in the month of

October the website offered to donate a penny to the Susan gcan Foundation they

ended up getting 24,000 $716 worth of donations but the Susan G

Coman Foundation rejected the offer stating that they were not a partner of pornh hubs and they would not accept

their donations so PornHub ended up putting something out there and was just like hey anybody doing anything for

these breasts let us know they tripled it all the way up to 75,000 and they split it between two Charities being the

E Stein jacobe fund and Cancer Sucks ink whoa that is actually really fascinating

I can't believe they turn down a donation yeah I was pretty shocked about

that too I like just [ __ ] take it I guarantee either they themselves or someone that they know and love has been

on PornHub it's going to be okay yeah and probably the person rejecting them was on it too yeah fatal Fury 2 was the

first video game that featured noticeably jiggly breasts with breast physics okay when you said breast

physics I was like what in God's green earth but I mean I thought that one to

be true yeah it was basically games only work with physics of things like bullets or if you throw a ball in a game they

just want to make sure the gravity is right but in 1992 was the first time that a game designer said but what about

the boobs like I'm noticing not a lot of Bounce going on here so the game came out in 1992 and featured a fighter named

my Shinu who has very noticeably jiggly breasts my God I need to like find a

show you her oh my God let me see let me see little GIF of her boobs bouncing oh my word and she has terrible posture

look at how her feet are standing why are her big toes separated that far

apart yeah so I imagine she has major back problems she needs to go to a chiropractor stat agreed but I am glad

you showed that to me because I was like oh they probably overly jiggled and they did they did they did yeah fighting

games are always known for the jiggliest boobs really oh yeah that's always been a thing since the '90s since the '90s I

didn't know it was ' 92 I'm only 2 years older than jiggly video game breasts oh my god well dang it you got it right and

I got it wrong both of our lives were the last ones is that what it was again I was kind of upset when I noticed I was

like ah [ __ ] I'll leave it I'll leave it well you know what else we'll leave in these ads

M hey everyone I'm about to play a trailer for our friend Ashley's podcast that's so [ __ ] up if you love the

weird and bizarre facts we share you'll love this show help support more independent pods by giving her show a

follow this is that's so [ __ ] up a podcast about CTS murder and other

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Richards find that so [  ] up anywhere you listen to podcasts that's [  ]

up and it's story time and it's my week to go first this is a story that I

discovered from the news it's one that I had to whip up together quite quickly

but as all my stories I just had the best time writing it and it's a doozy

this is going to be a doozy of a week yes it is so here we

go when it comes to modes of transportation there is only one that is

worthy of a classic criminal and that is traveling by

train for decades villains have used the railroad system to their Advantage

playing to the fact that trains appear innocent enough for loads of passengers to ride in yet are dangerous enough to

split in half at a moment's notice classic criminals value a

dramatic countdown to Doom many achieve this method by destroying a train track

off in the distance or by tying their victim to the tracks in front of an oncoming

locomotive I don't want to die a virgin you can fight in a train in between

train cars or even on top of a train's roof giving criminals options for

sparring even the sounds of a train give off Eerie energy with the industrial

huffing and puffing and shrill horns blaring out into the

wind with all of that being said it only makes sense that today's story would

take place on a train so settle in as we're now all aboard the petty

Express Judy was a 38-year-old woman living in her villain era in the year

2021 she was known in the area of College Station Texas to be quite the

Troublemaker she had thrown punches and bar fights robbed stores in broad

daylight put the money in the bag and even defecated in the yards of her enemies

enemies the others in town feared Judy but she knew it would take guts to keep

them afraid of her Judy had more than a few crimes under her belt already but

that didn't mean she had achieved all of her criminal goals she had grown up watching old western movies fantasizing

about what it would be like to fight someone on top of a speeding train where

life as she knew it could be taken out by a blow from her opponent a fall off

the locomotive or a tiny tunnel however Judy knew these fantasies

would most likely remain in her mind as she would never be able to convince someone to join her at top a moving

train honestly she wasn't even sure if she herself could do it on the outside

Judy kept her appearance tough she bullied her neighborhood kids and scared off all unwanted solicitors but on the

inside she felt criminally inaccurate she began to intensify her

daily Crimes by dining and dashing at her favorite restaurants and defecating

on lawns that didn't belong to her enemies nonetheless nothing could fill

the train sized hole in her Petty heart it was a crisp fall afternoon when

Judy found herself aimlessly walking around town she tried to distract her racing thoughts of inadequacy by

tripping others walking past her but it was no use her stomach sank lower with each and

every step until she heard an uplifting sound in the

distance a train Judy said breathlessly before another thought crossed her mind

Judy began sprinting towards the close by train station she ran past elderly

pickpocket victims dashed past vulnerable children and left lept over an abandoned $20

bill doing all of this in a desperate plea to reach the train in time finally

Judy had made it to the station she had just regained her breath by putting her hands on her head when the train came to

a screeching halt before her she slowly made her way to the rear of the train

forming a plan with each step Judy didn't want to buy a ticket and take a

ride on the train with the rest of the town's folk Judy wanted to fulfill her villainous Destiny and take a ride on

top she watch the conductor and the rest of the Railroad employees assist passengers off the train right this way

and knew it was now or never Judy hopped up the Caboose steps

and hoisted herself up the side and onto the hard roof of the train not wanting to remain at the very

back she Army crawled to the middle train car and held on for dear

life soon the train was ready for departure as the conductor yelled

out Judy was delighted with herself as her adrenaline oozed through her Outlaw

veins the metal gears began moving as the train started chugging down the

crickety tracks Judy let out a villainous laugh as her hair blew backwards

aggressively but was quickly interrupted by choking on the small bugs flying towards her face

it was Bliss surrounding the tracks were Wide Open Fields of crops and empty country

lanes yet in the upcoming Road intersection Judy spotted a truck and two people standing beside

it zooming past them she noticed they weren't just watching the train but they

were filming her on a cell phone not long after Judy felt a shift of Gears

from the train beneath her as it started to gradually slow what we just got

started Judy complained out loud to herself regardless of her disappointment

the train came to a Full Stop surely the sudden end couldn't have been caused

because of her Judy thought to herself but her fears were quickly confirmed as

the conductor walked all the way to the middle car and looked up at her ma'am

what the hell are you doing up there on September 28th of 2021

38-year-old Judy Delon was spotted riding on top of a moving Union Pacific

train near College Station Texas witness Stefan hodj was quoted saying I was

headed home with my wife and passed the train going down wellborne she saw it

and pointed it out when we got to the entrance of the neighborhood we had to wait on the train anyways so I got out

my cell phone and filmed and my wife called The Railroad company to let him know about the lady on the

train train workers then spotted Judy and stopped the train as soon as they

were approved to do so once the train was completely stopped Railroad employees two deputies and a fire truck

all appeared at the scene trying to convince Judy to come down after two

deputies climbed on the car and failed to get Judy down the college station fire department used their ladder from

their fir trck three 3 and 1/2 hours later two firefighters persuaded her to

come down the ladder with them Railroad employees later told sheriff's deputies that the company lost

$3,600 because the incident not only delayed the train Judy was on but also

two others in the area ultimately she was charged with interfering with

railroad property and was placed in brazzo's County Jail on a $5,000 bond

this wasn't Judy's only offense however as this marked her 14th time being in

the Brazos County Jail in the last 7 years and the fourth time in the last 6

months see what I mean about trains being the perfect transport for villains

I'm sure after this story you will never hear a distant train horn the same way

again and honestly I'm okay with that for far too long locomotives have

appeared to be a wholesome and innocent form of travel but if we remove our tunnel vision I think we can all get on

the same train of thought as for Judy let's hope in the future she can start

to conduct herself appropriately okay I'm here for the

conduct yourself oh my God that was a good one thank you where did you say this took place at again Texas oh that's

why they had the country voices yes it took place in Texas I think it was called College Station and to be honest

I don't know if that's even a small town usually I will research it kind of roughly but I did see a video that was

taken by the onlookers that gave the witness statement and it looked rural like it looked like it was Country Roads

that's where I got all of that from okay yeah and also all of her backstory about doing all the bad stuff I was wondering

when you did it because I had one not too long ago or somebody had a bunch of arrests and you had asked me oh did you

make those up or was that real and I was like well it was because that person had gotten arrested a yeah and I thought when you doing I was like oh I bet this

person has quite a rest history too yes when I first found this I didn't see

that right off the bat and then immediately when I did I was like this is a little

troublemaker that little tidbit I think it was only listed on one or two articles so not all of them either knew

that or talking about it but I was like you're a troublemaker so I had to play up the villain part of her you know yeah

in her villain era yes I love that I'll have to show you the video afterwards I'll have to post it online too but it's

just a quick little video of a train going by and a woman just on top but how

weird would that be to be those onlookers to be like what the hell I don't even know if I would have told

anybody like I wouldn't even have known to have thought of been like hey get it boy and then that's all I would have

done I mean I probably would have recorded it sure but I mean I wouldn't have told anybody probably I guess it's

smart to do because I mean as I talked about in the two truths and a lie I guess they're pretty deadly to humans

trains and train tracks and stuff so I get it but my God yeah what a weird

sequence of events I wonder if they would have noticed her without that call I wonder that too I bet not yeah I'm

sure they would say that they would have but I mean how would you know although this isn't the Wild Wild West I mean

surely they have cameras of something that keeps track of that now you would think or a person that watches you know

like all the track cameras and calls them out or something right and it was funny too in a lot of the Articles they

said that they did notice her at the train station like just standing there so I don't know how she got on it I had

to make that part up obviously I don't know what her motivation was either and

I also found it to be really fascinating because not one article talked about

being drunk being on drugs any sort of substance at all she's just on a good

time so that's what I was kind of going off of CU you would think when they listed what she was charged with they

would have said something else right generally yeah I would think I don't know what it was but I had fun writing

about it yeah that was a really fun story I do have a friend that used to work for the railroad and he said that

they're very strict about you being on your phone at certain points and doing different things and they said that

there was like manager people that would fly little drones over the work area and

we'll just try to catch you doing stuff so if there are managers that are flying drones with cameras they probably also

use those drones for like keeping track of people on top of the trains and stuff I would think you would hope that that's

what they're using it for and not just being like get off Instagram right so I'm thinking if it's that tricky for a

employee that that lady probably would have gotten caught at least pretty early into a ride I would think dude yeah also

it was hard for me to tell if they actually had to wait until they made it to a train station or if they stopped it

just in between I couldn't really figure that out in the articles but it is interesting that she fought them for so

long yeah for three and a half hours they said that she was like no I'm not

coming down yeah and they used the fire department ladder I thought that was kind of surprising too I thought just

enough people would get up there and overpower her and just take her down nope two officers apparently tried and

couldn't and then they had to get a ladder she had to be coaxed into coming with them so that kind of makes me think

they stopped the train not at the train track maybe it was like uneven ground and just hard to get her down I mean she

popped right up there right right at the train station and you think that they wouldn't need a fire department ladder

to get to her I don't know I don't know all the details but my God and what did you say was her punishment again

interfering with a railroad system I think but you don't know what her like punishment was F or jail or anything it

just said that she was placed in jail with a $5,000 Bond I imagine

with this being her 14th time in the last s years and the fourth time just in the last 6 months I would assume they

would have probably given her some time even if the punishment wasn't that high they would probably count up all the

other stuff and give her the highest you can get for it I would think yeah she was interfering with railroad property

but it doesn't say how long or anything damn I would have really liked to have known what she got me

too good God but what a ride that is quite a ride and now I see what you did

there you connected your story to your two truth and a lie I did and looks like

you and I were on the same wavelength this week boobies are involved boobies will be involved ah yes this is going to

be one of my naughty stories maybe the worst I've done yet I don't know no it

cannot be worse than what was it the maple syrup hookup oh yeah the maple syrup and jelly yeah this one can't be

more naughty well we will see okay and before I go on let's share one more boob

fact because I forgot to share some oh okay did you know that the Virginia state flag is the only flag that shows a

boob no way now it could be a man's breast it looks feminine it's hard to

tell but the Virginia flag has a person standing on top of another person it says six simp Tanis and their boob is

out wa it actually looks like a breast it doesn't look like just a PEC that

does not look like a PE I wouldn't say cuz usually in a cartoon form they

wouldn't take the time to give it such a curvature they would just put the nipple so if you're from Virginia good on you

tit's out Virginia that's right free that nip free the nipple all right so if

you got children clever their ears and here we

go do you ever feel like our world is a little too erotic like no matter what you do you

run the risk of completing a mundane task only to find yourself engorged with feelings of lust and titilation

TI is anyone else getting tired of this with internet culture ad algorithms and

companies knowing how to tap into our animal urges we belong to a society that feeds on our most basic desires

deep-seated feelings of inadequacy cravings for salty sweet treats and the need to make more money are hurled at us

from the moment we wake to the second can't we stop looking at our phone and go to bed we've talked about this any

product can be marketed towards you using your insecurities and desires against you but one aspect of our world

that I feel is missed by me is how damn sexy it is seriously how are we supposed to get

anything done our stores are packed with the most phallic and boob adjacent Foods yummy Tik Tok might as well just be the

clapping ass cheeks app and I can't even order a Starbucks without being seduced by the lascivious gaze of its mascot

whisk me away with your siren song you two finned sex kitten there's an increasing amount of skin in our movies

Bri Larson is doing more commercials and have you seen the ads for our fast food Burgers lately they must be using 20K

resolution cameras each nook and cranny of the greasy burger meat is like highly detailed ASMR for my eyes so shiny so

wet so delicious I want to put my mouth on those buns and not stop until I'm

full examples like this or exactly why this is a problem I live in America my

life isn't supposed to be about stimulating my nether regions until satisfaction my time should be used more

wisely on things that actually matter like paying my taxes putting in extra hours for my boss's profit and voting in

a two- party system that I don't believe in anything that distracts me from that is downright shameful I know a lot of

you Sinners listening probably don't see a problem with this you like your car commercials with a sight of sex and

every time you eat a banana in public you feel like an exhibitionist nice technique but there are prudes in this

world that find themselves deeply affected by any signs of the sensual so much so that the mere utterance of a

penis could ruin their whole week for this very Saucy story I'm going

to put you knuckle deep into the world of Aude opening your eyes to just how shameful our society's become so keep an

open mind during this one because you might just find that you too are a part of the

problem Emma was a 30-year-old woman living in carile England living the life

of an introvert she had self-imposed a sheltered existence for herself books

work and some social interaction was all she needed in her life and most of those social interactions were spent with her

boyfriend Raymond for the past 5 years Emma and Raymond had been in a relationship together they had somewhat

similar interests but the best part of their relationship was how well their Lifestyles meshed together it was

completely natural Emma would stay home to read while Raymond went out drinking with friends she never had him

interrupting her reading while he never had her cramping his style at the club when they were together Raymond would

often fill the silences with rants about his unfounded opinions everyone else is stupid and Emma would remain quiet not

wanting to make him more Angry like I said it was very natural for them but as the relationship went on Emma started to

notice some changes in herself she realized that some of Raymond's opinions offended her his constant talking did

not help her relax and he just didn't ch challenged her to do better in life her relationship had become an Amazon

essentials brand t-shirt that got left in the dryer too long terrible looking unsalvageable and squeezing in on her

she could feel herself growing as a person but Raymond hadn't changed since the day they met 31 years old and she

still couldn't convince him that not all dogs are boys and all cats are girls although the relationship wasn't

bringing Emma a lot of value the space allowed her much more time for discovering herself while Raymond was

out she was going to therapy but the history of the patriarchy and taking daily walks the world was something new

and exciting for her to discover and Emma had no idea what new door would open to her on one random

workday it was a very boring day at the job store Emma had been typing words all day in completing forms the music from

her iPod Touch played as the small earbuds struggled to drown out the sounds of the office hello but just as

she hit pause to give her ears a break a voice Rose above the keyboard sounds big

penis oh God Emma said to herself knowing exactly what was going on in the breakroom the job store office hierarchy

was led by two powerful cougars at the top hot Susan and Amanda together these two brought the

cheer to the office Christmas parties the men would bend to their every will and they were Untouchable by HR no one

could resist them and their confidence scared the hell out of Emma during her time of employment Emma had overheard

many of hot Susan and Amanda's conversations from the break room they were loud and unfiltered Emma could

confidently name you each one of their last three sexual partners from all the information shared within those four

walls she often wondered what being a part of the conversation would be like but anytime she thought of joining she

reminded herself that her place was on the outside creepily listening from afar not today she said to herself standing

up from her desk and grabbing her you got to be kitting me mug from her top shelf she slowly made her way to the

break room leaning against the the doorway so I was there going to town on myself and my husband walks in saying

hey what are you doing and I said you want dinner tomorrow night you better get back to bed you know what I'm saying

hot season's crowd of Amanda and three random businessmen roared with laughter dying down as hot Susan turned her

attention towards Emma this girl knows what I'm saying hot Susan said motioning her coffee mug towards Emma I know I'm

not the only one churning butter to 50 Shades of Gray right Emma stuttered to herself realizing her biggest anxiety

was coming true she joined the cool kids and didn't know what they were talking about seeing how visibly distraught Emma

was Amanda stepped forward offering up some reassurance it's okay girly you can have my first copy I had to get a new

version after this one's Pages started sticking together Amanda dropped a moist

first edition hardback copy of 50 Shades of Gray into Emma's hands see you next

week but it's only Monday I know for the rest of the day Emma's eyes were

attacked with words of sensual intent she couldn't believe that there was a genre designed for such stimulation it

made her feel powerful it made her excited at the end of her work day Emma

couldn't control her feelings any longer she texted Raymond demanding that he cancel Monday night with the boys and

spend some time with her after some resistance Raymond agreed later that

evening with Raymond in her bedroom Emma began her moves of seduction she gave herself a playful light blue eyeshadow

and ditch the bra so he knows she means business laid out on her bed she greeted Raymond as he walked into her room how

was your day Raymond she asked while twirling her hair I'm so glad you asked

Raymond responded as he went on a 30-minute rant about his newest subreddit ban each time Emma would try

to bring the conversation back to them rayma would call the mod team a bunch of fascists and continue talking about what

he wanted it's [ __ ] his words went on seemingly on a Loop until Emma's horny feminist rage got the best of her

Raven I need to talk to you about something Emma yelled interrupting Raymond's story these girls at work gave

me a book and I need to share it with you Emma reached into her purse and pulled out the still moist copy of 50

Shades of Gray I've been bunny earing the pages that I found to be the most important so I can share it with you she turned the

pages until she stopped at her first marked page feel free to react in any way that feels natural you I know I had

some pretty strong feelings when I first heard it okay here we go he grabs me

suddenly and Yanks me up against him one hand at my back holding me to him and another fisting in my hair you're one

challenging woman he kisses me forcing my lips apart with his tongue taking no

prisoners Emma paused for a second looking up at a blank-faced Raymond she quickly jumped to another section and

began reading again he's naked except for those soft ripped jeans top button C

casually undone jeez he looks so freaking hot my subconscious is frantically fanning herself and my inner

goddess is swaying and writhing to some Primal carnal Rhythm Raymond quickly put

his hands on Emma's desk and hunched over that book is the most vile and

pornographic thing I've ever heard you shouldn't be reading anything like this I can't believe you canceled boy Monday

night for this disgusting smut he roared Emma quickly jumped back to the book's defense no this is a beautiful thing

it's passion maybe we can have passion like this let me read you one more passage Raymond stuck his fingers in his

ears and began making noises hoping to keep the sounds of Sin from entering her sharp intake of breath is

music to my dick Raymond there are words for men too he said her breath was music

to his dick Raymond eventually pulled his fingers from his ears and made one more

declaration this is shameful Saucy Behavior you you should be ashamed for thinking like this I'm going home I hope

when I see you next time you'll be wearing a bra and will have thrown that wet book away the door slammed with Raymond on

the other side leaving Emma confused at what just happened she rolled over and continued reading more 50 Shades of Gray

she made it about 20 Pages before checking her phone there she found a text from Raymond saying I can't believe

you the rest of the night went on with the couple typing out long text messages each arguing their case who was to blame

should they stay together why can he go to strip clubs and she not read a book many questions were thrown around with

nothing solved the night ended with the two falling asleep angry in their own respective beds the couple gave each

other the silent treatment the next day until later in the next evening Emma received a knock at the

door I don't have time for this Raymond I think we need to spend some more time apart if you can't see my side of this

Emma said slowly shutting the door but as the door began to close Raymond stuck his foot in the way keeping the door

open you like things that are Saucy Raymond asked in a very serious tone I

think I do Raymond and I'm tired of pretending I don't Raymond reached into his pocket and pushed the door open as

he began to yell I'll show you the true meaning of Saucy he pulled his right hand up revealing a bottle of steak

sauce with tactical Precision Raymond hoisted the bottle to face level took aim and begin slapping the bottom

causing brown sauce to shoot all over Emma streams of s flew in Rapid succession leaving no wall or piece of

furniture unsued the sodium and spices of the sauce stung as it entered Emma's

eyes I hope this is Saucy enough for you he shouted as he holstered his steak

sauce and ran out of the house in July of 2012 31-year-old

Carlile UK man Raymond Hodson was arrested for going to his girlfriend's house and covering her in steak sauce

according to interviews and police statements it all started when his girlfriend 30-year-old Emma McCormack

had begun reading the novel 50 Shades of Gray before wanting to share it with Raymond however the plans for a sexy

reading of el James's passages backfired as Raymond was extremely offended by the content of the book Raymond Hodson told

prosecutors that the book was pornographic and his girlfriend should not read such literature the argument lasted into the night over text messages

and until around 7:00 p.m. the following evening when raymon returned to the home with a bottle of brown steak sauce and began squirting it all over McCormack

getting it in her eyes in interviews Raymond said he had every intention of squirting sauce over Miss

McCormack wanting toote show her the true meaning of Saucy but he now regretted doing it realizing how stupid

it sounds District Judge Gerald chock said hodson's actions had clearly been intended to demean Miss McCormack

Raymond Hodson was given a single charge of simple assault He was ordered to pay Emma what equals $150 Amic in

compensation cover her $130 in legal fees and adhere to a 6 p.m. curfew for a

month and a half what a salacious and Saucy time I guess when I talked about the world

being too sexy I was talking about now as opposed to the time this story took place in 2012 it feels like a very

different time doesn't it 11 years ago I remember when 50 Shades of Gray first came out people were shocked curious and

secretly reading it now I feel like I have to watch a 50 Shades of Gray style sex scene before every YouTube video

starts maybe that's on PornHub either way the world live in now is just too

sexy but we are still expected to do regular life obligations too so if you love reading dirty old smut books don't

let a deadend relationship hold you back from what makes you happy stay true to what you love and maybe one day your

very own Christian Gray will slowly guide your Saucy fingers across the pages of your own Nolla of

passion I am shook that that even

occurred if you are so upset about your woman reading a sexy

book that you so he left he actually did go and grab some sauce like at the store

did he go to the fridge does it say well he had left and they had been apart for a whole night so he had went home and

they just texted and complained and fought for like 24 hours and then he came back the next night and

saer so he brought the sauce with intent yep to Sauce her down yeah and that is

very bizarre to me I'm sorry I feel like there's a million other responses to

this exact scenario and bringing a bottle of steak sauce and Downing her in

it was just so far off my radar personally that it really really really really shook me yeah I can see how the

story of it was building up to look like it was going to lead to a night of passion of some sort yeah but I mean I

really didn't add that much they had said that she did read passages out to him I just picked some of my favorite ones I loved them but all that was

pretty much true because he did say like this is pornographic my girlfriend should not be reading such literature he

had literally had said in court like oh yeah I came with the intent to saucer but now I'm embarrassed because I

realize that's kind of stupid all of that is actually what happened it's a very Petty thing to do and I am shocked

that you can be that mad for that long and still follow through with your dumb idea that's what I was saying you had to

leave go get it you you slept on it you thought of it then you had to go and get

it bring it with and do it mhm and it did get in her eyes

God it's in the UK so they just kept calling it brown sauce there was only a couple articles that actually called it

steak sauce it could be slightly different in the UK brown sauce may be something a little different but

American article had called it steak sauce so I'm just going to say I don't know that much about UK culture brown

sauce may be something different hm yeah cuz if I heard brown sauce I would think like are you talking about brown gravy

like what are you talking about yeah I was thinking gravy or like chocolate sauce yeah yeah and can I just say this

too the curfew thing that the judge imposed on him first of all I'm all

about it this guy sounds like trash he sounds like he's really degrading and

stupid in my opinion but I didn't even think that was an option to give a

curfew to a grown man like that that's kind of funny I've seen some curfew stuff but it's usually on something a

lot worse you know like if if you're on sort of a house arrest and you just have to have a job or something it's like you

have to be indoors at this point house arrest type stuff but this is the UK and they must just be a little more creative

than we are and also if this was America I feel like the bills would have been way higher oh yeah God you only had to

pay her 150 and the problem and 130 in legal fees oh that would have easily

been a grand I feel like here I feel the same way I'm curious I don't know I don't know about like legal stuff there

but that does seem kind of low when you said the curfew thing that just made me really chuckle to myself I was like a

curfew I mean I think it's kind of funny if we're going the route you did where he was the guy that was okay with like

going to strip clubs but she couldn't even read a book it's like well you ain't going out at night you are sitting at home yeah for a month and a half of

the was really weird to me very creative I mean I wouldn't be mad if somebody gave me that curfew but my writing of

the story really started to take a very hard feminist turn as I was going which I'm totally fine with but the story

really did seem to me like this was the kind of guy who's just like I do whatever I want to do my grown

30-year-old adult girlfriend should not read a book that I don't approve of and

the guy kind of just looks like the type that would be kind of controlling like that so I went a little more heavier on the the feminist angle there but yeah I

just think that this dude probably was the type that I can go to a strip club if I want yeah but I don't think you

should read a book that gives you bad ideas about other men guar guaranteed if you are that weirdly controlling and

that weird about women not being allowed to do things then yeah you're probably

not the best set of moral standards yourself yeah you're probably a hypocrite you're probably hiding

something yeah yeah yeah no I love that you don't hear that very often so the curfew thing was interesting mhm H for

the joke I'm so glad that he decided to fix his problems with sauce because that's a funny way to go about it yeah

that is bizarre this whole story is super bizarre I didn't think it was going to take this turn yeah some people

man so another sexy story in the books another sexy Saucy story Trevon that was

a delightful episode and I hope that everyone is having the best week just remember no matter the crime big or

small in the end we're all doomed doomed to ride a train

baby bye see you all aboard thank you for taking a funky ride

on our train track this week and if you want more proof on how the world has got more erotic you should be on social

media and while you're there give us a follow on Facebook Instagram Tik Tok or threads and if you have any petty crime

stories involving the mysterious br BR sauce please email us at live lony

gmail.com and give our show the same rating Emma would give 50 Shades of Gray five sloppy Stars rate our podcast at

good pods apple or wherever you rate

podcast or by tying their victim to the tracks in front of an onc that's a long

one or by tying their victim to the tracks in front of an oncoming an

oncoming or by tying their victim to the tracks in front of an

oncom okay I just keep saying oncoming instead

of oncoming I'm going to just start the whole sentence over so maybe I can start

a new okay many achieve this method by

destroying a train track off in the distance or by tying their victim to the

tracks in front of an oncoming [ __ ] oh

no I'm not okay



live, laugh, larceny: a true petty crime podcast logo over a blurred photo of a man reading a book that seems suspiciously erotic

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