EP 103: The Crew Forgets Their Own Anniversary (Transcript)
[00:00:00] Live Laugh Larceny discusses true petty crimes that may be disturbing to some or could be easy listening to all you psychopaths out there. All stories are based on actual events, eh, but details may vary. Listener discretion is not advised.
Live, laugh, larceny. Welcome to Live Laugh Larceny. When you get cold. Cold by a hot sounding scam. Caller . Ooh, this is Trevin. And I'm Amanda, so darling. Yes. What is your dreadful dilemma this [00:01:00] week? Oh dear. I have had something dreadful , which I've got too many dreadful dilemmas if you ask me. So do I. What the hell?
We're living a dreadful life. . Actually, I'm gonna go with the most recent one cuz Emily and I went to a standup show last night. Did you? Yes. And I can't seem to go to a standup show without experiencing people . What are the chances of this other people actually showed up? There were so many. Wow. The crowd was wild in last night.
There was just some weirdos. Okay, do tell. So there was these three dudes behind. And this guy was like, oh, I've got a podcast and I'm funny. Okay, I'm not gonna make fun of a podcast ever, . But he kept trying to make jokes to his friend and then he was like, you know what? I won't tell this joke. I'm gonna save it for later.
And that was really weird. But also there was parts where the standup comedians were saying things. And he was like trying to mimic what they were doing and like saying the jokes to himself while the show is going on. Oh no. That is [00:02:00] so creepy because he said that he thought of himself as a standup comedian as well.
Like how close was he sitting or was he just speaking really loud? Loud and he was directly behind us. Oh, okay. . I was like, damn, you heard like everything and the seats were really crunched together. Like my knee was hurting so bad by the end of the show. So Emily and I could hear this guy really. The row in front of us.
For some reason there was like a group of like six people and they made everybody in the row shift down one to make space.. And then at one point they all stood up and shifted to the left again. And it was the weirdest thing cuz it happened at the very beginning of the show. And then in the middle of the show they all shifted directions again,
And then the people on the far right were just like, what the hell's wrong with you people? I just wanna watch the show. Yeah, sit your ass down, . It's not like anyone came over and they were like, Hey, scoot over. I need, unless they had a friend show up. I don't know what was going on with that. Wow. Musical chairs.
It was really weird musical chairs. But there was one particular girl there that took the cake. This girl sat directly in front of [00:03:00] Emily and something seemed off about her. Like she kept looking back at us and like making eye contact with us. Like before the show started, I think she was just like begging for a conversation.
Whoa. But Emily and I were like, nah, we're not gonna talk to you. Side eye. Yeah. Before she had shown up, uh, her boyfriend or whatever was already sitting and saving the seats. And then once she came back, he went and did something. So that's when she was like, staring at us. But anyway, he came back and then the show started and they seemed like a, a nice little couple at first.
I mean, seemed all right. Then she started being like a Woo girl. Every time a comedian would just say something, she'd be like, woo. Oh no, . It was just like, oh no, not this girl. But the weird thing about it was she would woo with the most random things. Now, I'm not gonna get political here, , but the standup guy said something about Donald Trump.
Okay, so this girl's like, whoa, fuck yeah. I'm like, okay, cool. . No, not cool. And then a little bit later, to be fair, the standup comedian then just started saying [00:04:00] something about Joe Biden, and she's like, whoa. Yeah. Wow. She's just loving everyone, isn't she? Yeah. You're playing both sides here, but. I think she was just getting more drunk as the time was going.
She had one drink in her hand. I didn't see her drinking, but I was like, oh wait, I think this girl's drunk . Maybe she got there on a level, I think so. And so anytime the comedian would stop talking, she would yell, I love you. And they're like, the first time was fine because you know, that happens. Like people kind of jump on that when it's like the quiet moment, and then like he would say a little bit more of a joke again and then he would pause against you, go, I love you.
And eventually the dude with her. Baby . Uh, can you Sweet baby Angel, please stop drinking. Can you please just please be quiet. Please save your love for me. You're embarrassing me, . And it was so weird because we're just looking at the back of her head, but this girl had such a like Muppet way of moving.
She was so expressive in her body movements. Wow. And. So like you saw her head, like [00:05:00] lean in towards the guy, you just see him shaking his head like, baby, this is a bad idea, . And then she instantly whips her head to the other side of the chair and leans as far as she can to the right away from him. And then like kind of tilted her head at him.
Like, you know, like how a child would like pouting. Like I've seen Lila do this. Yeah. Where she sticks out her lower lip and like, , I'm gonna look at you and I want you to know that I'm upset with you. And it was just like a child. And anytime he would try to say something, she would pull away and be like, no, you're being an asshole.
You're being an asshole to me. Oh my God. So did they stay for the whole show? No, she ended up acting a fool a few more times. And then one point they started to laugh together and then again something happened where she was being loud and he was. Let's just tone it down. You are a bit embarrassing. And then she was bawling At this time, she just starts bawling and like loudly.
No, but you could tell she was crying. Yeah. And anytime he would try to console her or anything, she was like pushing him away. Like, get away from me. You really, you ruined this night. And the dude was super chill the whole time, so [00:06:00] he didn't ruined the night. Oh my God. And eventually the guy was just like, fuck it.
Let. , let's just go. Let's go. We're gonna go. And so they stood up the whole row ahead of us. That was doing musical chairs? No, they had to get up again. They had to skinny pass this whole group again and leave. And they never came back. If it was me, and I don't know, like you don't know their relationship. I don't know if they lived together or not, but if they were just like casually dating, I would've been like, go.
Yeah, you go home. Yeah. You go. Go home immediately and think about what you've done. Yeah. I'm not going to go out in public, God, I don't go out in public that much, but I'm not gonna go out in public buy tickets to a show and then leave it early. Cuz somebody wants to be a drunk asshole. Whoa. I feel like every time you go out into the wild, you see the weirdest people.
Oh, last night. There's just so many weird ones this night. Wow. And that's a weeknight too. Yeah, it was a Thursday night show. Thirsty Thursday, I suppose. Who? Well, that is dreadful . That is so dreadful. I feel sorry [00:07:00] for the guy . I was gonna say that is more dreadful than him, than it is for us. But yeah, it's still kind of probably ruined the show a little bit for you.
I mean, I have never had a standup show with so many distractions. The guy behind us is moving of all the people, them, oh, I missed this part too. Every time she would laugh really hard, it was like her head was on a swivel. Her head would just jerk back, like whiplash hard. She would laugh and just like ha and just like hang her head back.
But she would throw her head back so hard. She would rest her head in Emily's lap. That was I, I'm at the, yeah. So, wow. Put this back in . Yeah. And Emily just kept looking at me being. Dude, I don't fucking like this. And I was like, yeah, I know. But her head was back so far over the chair in Emily's lap that she could have opened her eyes and just been making eye contact with Emily the whole time.
And she did it multiple times. She hit mighty once. Oh, she was hammered, bro. Oh, she hit mighty once. But she put her head in Emily's lap so many times and you shouldn't have the person in front of you putting their head in your lap. [00:08:00] It's one thing if you're drunk falling to the side, but she's just whipping her head back.
She probably gave herself whiplash. She probably did maybe a concussion on her knee. Woo. Well that is really something. . You know what my dreadful dilemma this week also has to do with people behaving very strangely. Huh? So that's really interesting. I've talked about it a couple times on the show, how much I love reality tv.
Mm-hmm. Yes, we do. We've talked about the Housewives, we've talked about the Bachelor, but I have a dreadful dilemma. Okay. Tr. Mm-hmm. And this week I'm gonna be talking about Vander Pump Rules for a minute here. Is that show still running? Yes. That's an older one now at this point, right? It's, oh yeah. This show.
I have been watching it. God, I mean, probably over 10 years, probably. Mm-hmm. around 10 years maybe. I mean, I remember watching it when it was still on like regular cable, which I'm like, does anyone have regular cable? Maybe anymore? I don't know. Our parents probably. I don't mind you. That's true. [00:09:00] That's. , but I've been watching it for a decade.
I've seen all these people change and grow. So I assume you haven't heard about the big scandal that's going on with that show right now, have you? No, but I do assume that Vanderpump still rules. Right. You know, she definitely does. . Okay. Yes. I'm gonna break this down in a way that I saw online, and I've been seeing some memes going around, and by the time I talk about this, this is gonna feel like the oldest news of all time, okay?
Mm-hmm. , because this is going on right now, and this probably won't come out for what, a couple weeks? Yeah, it's like the 22nd. Yeah. It'll seem like old news, but to me it's very current. Okay. . But there is a person on Vanderpump Rules, and his last name is Sandoval, and he has been dating the same girl now for, I think nine years is how long they've been together.
And recently it just came out that he's been having an affair with another cast member [00:10:00] for seven months. And everyone is now calling it hashtag scan Deval. Oh. Because of his name. And it's a scandal. I love the creation of hashtags. Just bad puns. Oh, and it's sticking too. It's everywhere right now. But for the person who doesn't know Vanderpump Rules, there was a meme that was going around where it was kind of using like a friend's reference where it was like, imagine if Chandler was cheating on Monica with Rachel for months.
And Joey knew about it the whole time. Mm-hmm. . And I was like, oh, okay. Yeah. This would be good for people who don't understand the cast. And this is something I'm adding on because this is new. Things have been developing for like over a week now about this drama. Mm-hmm. . But then imagine if Phoebe comes on in and slugs Rachel.
Just imagine. Okay. There is a lot happening and this affair is hurting my heart. Oh no. [00:11:00] It feels almost like I've been cheated on. Mm-hmm. . That's how devastating this has been. Ah, and what's interesting is they had like a really horrible season. Last season was kind of coming back from Covid, a lot of the main cast.
Members weren't coming back cuz they said a bunch of inappropriate shit and got canceled or what, whatever. it is the season, but this season has been off the chart with drama. So if you like reality tv, it's been a favorite of mine for so long, but it's devastating right now. Like I was gonna say, even though it's crushing you, it's great.
It's crushing me. If you want to fall in love with these people, even though they are all very wild and problematic in their own ways, and then get crushed by them, go ahead and start it. Oh, well I might just , but yeah, luckily there's other people in the world that have been like following this story as close as I am.
Wow. The drama of the show is spreading out into the real world, so that's dreadful and I really just [00:12:00] want everyone to be okay. You know? Yeah. We should all be okay. Stop having affairs. Yeah. Especially if you're on a reality show, like that's gonna come out. I don't know. It helps with readings, puts the cash in the pockets.
That's very true. And some of the cast members have been really extra about like, buy my merch cuz they know everyone's watching their accounts right now. I'm like you Little thirsty hose. Makes sense. So today we are going to be doing a round of top five. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 5. So it turns out that it is actually my week to go first , and I'm feeling a little sporty
Are you now? I am. I've actually not been working out as much, so actually this is the least sporty I had ever been. But , we're gonna pretend [00:13:00] that I'm feeling sporty this week. . So I wanna do the world's strangest sports. Oh, okay. I'm actually intrigued. So I did research on different top 10, top five lists.
My favorite one was from shop box basics.com. Hmm. But I kinda disagreed with one of 'em. I was gonna compile my own, but really I like there's the most, I just think there's six. Should be five and their five should be six. Okay. Fair enough. We we wanna hear your top five tr Yeah. So this is my top five, but I still wanna give them credit because the synopsis of these things I'm gonna stealing from them.
Okay. So for number five, I have chess, boxing, chess. Boxing. Okay. I'm not sure who invented this, but they thought, okay, what's the game that takes the most amount of mind? Chess, what's the game that takes the least amount of mind? Boxing ? So basically what it is, is two people go head to head and play alternating rounds of blitz, chess and [00:14:00] boxing until one person either wins by a checkmate or a knockout.
It's also possible to win by a penalty as in normal chess and boxing decision. If it's like a TKO or something like that. So really they go out and they have to play a time ground, cuz you know how they do chess where they have the timers. Yeah. They get down there and they're like, okay, make your move, make us smart.
You make the move. Then you guys go up there and you box for like 60 seconds. You basically just alternate back and forth and they say by the end of it you're getting like knocked around in the head and stuff. So which one happens first? Are you too focused on the chest? So you come out and boxing and get knocked out or are you so like knocked around by the boxing that you come back and you can't chess anymore?
What? I want to watch one of these sounds you do. It sounds awesome. Imagine looking at the glaze look in somebody's eyes like, oh, I just got kidding me. . No, that's checkers. . Maybe after getting punched so many times though, it's possible. King, me. Damn it. So [00:15:00] I thought that sounded so fun. Number four is camel jumping in the Yemen.
This ancient sport has seen a rebirth as the professional camel jumpers of the Zuri. Nick Tribe in Western Yemen use their speed, strength, and explosiveness to sail over as many camels as possible. Wow. Do they just get a running start and just leap over? Yeah. Is it kinda like the high jump, like your back can't touch the animal?
That's like a long jump. Whoa. Yeah. Okay. So he is like bent over and grabbing his feet in the air. Yeah. To make sure he doesn't touch a camel. Whoa. That is wild. Says the sport is still pending. Pita approval. number three is Bo Tashi from Japan. I think you've probably seen this, where there's like the big pole, it's like Jenga and capture the flag mixed together.
It's a Japanese sport that pits two teams of 75 players against each other. Wow. In an epic fight to bring down the [00:16:00] other person's pole and basically they kind of climb each other to get to the pole. So it just looks like a mound of humans. Is there a picture of this? Yeah. . My God. So you've gotta have one person who gets on the top and is just great with balance.
Whew. Number two is from Finland and it's wife carrying this finished sport gives a whole other meaning in the term of the old ball and chain in teams of two, the male carries the female competitors race to see who can finish an obstacle course dropping. The wife is disqualification. Oh my God. Do you have to carry your wife like that picture?
In this picture I'm showing Amanda, she, the wife is being carried like a backpack, but upside down. So her face is like in this dude's ass. I'm not, yeah, I don't know if, I mean that would put more of the woman's weight on the shoulders unless I'm the lower back. So maybe it might actually be, oh my God.
The way you should probably do it. Yeah. And then number one is from England and it's called the Coopers Hill [00:17:00] Cheese. Rolling. And Wake the small regional event in, I'm gonna butcher this glow. Chester England has gained international notoriety for its high speed intensity and number of injuries. The rule is simple.
They roll a big wheel of cheese down a hill and the first person of the bottom wins. Wait, so you try to chase the cheese wheel? Yeah. And if you win, you get the cheese. Oh, you do? Okay. Cuz I was like, okay, no one's gonna catch the wheel, right? Or do you get like bonus cheese points if you do ? I don't know.
I don't know if you can beat the cheese. Yeah, if you can beat the cheese. Good on you. But apparently it's a very steep hill, like super steep. And they said that. People the second they start just hit and just start falling down it. So not only do you have to try to stay up on a grassy field, not slip going down, you also have to not get taken out by your competitors.
Whoa. There might be more prizes than just the cheese, cuz. I [00:18:00] mean, I don't really want cheese rolling in the grass, but yeah. What if you're a person who just really loves steep hills but you're lactose intolerant? Then I guess you just give it to somebody you know, the gift of cheese. Who wants this wheel that I want?
That was a big ass wheel of cheese. Those were very weird. Yeah, that was a good list. I agree. Toe wrestling was their original number five. That one's also very bizarre, but okay. Toe wrestling. Yeah. You know, I think I'd actually be kind of good at that. I have like really strong toes. Apparently it's like thumb wrestling except you lock your toes and then you just kinda have to bend the other foot down.
Oh, I would be so good at that. Yeah. It was started in a pub by four drinking buddies. Whoa. Okay, so I'm gonna do my top five, and before I get into this, this week, this is definitely one that requires some visuals. So I would suggest following us on any social [00:19:00] media, or you could even look up this article that we can put in the show notes or whatever.
But this particular article is from people.com, and I'm going to do the top five ugliest dogs in the world. Ooh. And this is gonna get really cute and real ugly all at once. I feel like. I thought the article that I originally found was the fifth place, the fourth place, third place, second and first. That happened in the year of 2022.
Mm-hmm. . But instead, I'm just going to show the winners over the past five years. Okay. Yeah, and just so anyone listening knows, as I was just re-looking up this article, They are now accepting candidates for the world's ugliest dog. 2023 . Hell yeah. I'm gonna put myself in there. you ugly dog. Okay. It looks like they may have skipped one year because of the pandemic.
So coming in as number [00:20:00] five, this was the winner of the World's Ugliest Dog competition in the year 2016. And it is a dog named Sweepy Rambo. Aw, here you go, Trevon. Yeah, I feel like I've seen that. That looks like the dog from, uh, isn't it Superstar? Didn't she have the ugliest yard and she had the ugliest dog?
Oh, that looks just like that dog. Maybe he was a 17 year old Chinese crested dog. Just so we all know. Now, the winner of 2017 was a big old pup named Martha . Aw, that's not ugly at all. . I know. Give Martha the respect she so badly deserves. I'm like, okay, you got some, you know, little loose skin, but got a lot of jowls.
Yeah. And you can't really see her little eyes, but I think it's cute. And apparently she's gentle and gassy. Oh. And she [00:21:00] weighs 125 pounds , so she probably smells ugly. Whoa. What kind of dog is that? Does it say That is a Neapolitan mastiff. Okay. Yeah. Thank you for asking cuz. Yeah, I wanna put that in there.
Yeah. For the people not watching right now, we Yes. At least give them the breed. That's true. Good point. Now coming in, uh, number three on our list, and this was the winner of the 2018, and I don't know if I am saying the name of this pup correctly. It's Z S A Z S A. Zza sounds like a rapper name. I don't know, but just look at this dog,
Oh, so it's like kind of a, like a bulldog, bulldog. Some it probably with human arms, suza. I don't know if that's how you say it. Zza is a English bulldog, and this pup has a wide stance, teeth exposing underbite in a tongue that hangs almost to the ground. [00:22:00] Yeah. Whoa. The thing that sticks out to me most is those arms.
It looks like it's got big like gargoyle arms. Yeah. Like what in the world That cannot be good for the joints. No, I'm, I'm sure not. So, number two, scam. The tramp was 2000 and nineteens winner and kind of looks similar to the number five dog, honestly. Yeah. It's got a kind of a dopey look to him. A Dreadlocked former stray dog scam.
The Tramp doesn't even say what kind of dog it is. He's just a , A wad of weirdness, , and then the world's ugliest dog, Mr. Happy Face, ladies and gentlemen. Oh my, oh my right. It's a small dog that looks like, I don't know if it's hairless or is it just a hairless dog with like really bad teeth and a white mohawk and a white mohawk and like, Look at the face.
Oh [00:23:00] man, I don't even know what kind of dog this is. Doesn't say like mouth problems. It does clarify on here too. They did take a two year break due to the pandemic. So those are the top five world's ugliest dogs over the past few years. Well that will definitely be one that people want pictures for. Oh yeah.
Remind me when putting the episode together, we'll put it in the show notes as well as Okay. Making social posts and stuff. Yes, yes. But wow, I think some of them didn't deserve it. Yeah. I'm actually quite offended for some of them and honestly, sometimes dogs are so kind of ugly that they're cute. Yeah.
They have like the really long tongue or you know, I don't know. They all a slight deformity. Yeah. Yeah. Still cute. I know. Still so sweet and adorable and innocent. So, Trin, before we jump into our ads this week, you had a show recommendation, right? I did have a show recommendation. I recently made friends with the host of Crime Aholic, Holly and Kinzie, [00:24:00] and.
They're gonna do a little shout out for us, so I thought, Hey, I'll give them a little shout out too. We're trying to dip into more comedy listeners. Mm-hmm. , but this is definitely for somebody who loves True Crime. Okay. They each tag team it, and they put out two episodes a week alone, separate from each other, so they don't actually Oh, really?
Yeah. They don't host together. They do their own solo episodes and they try not to do any of the banter, the Chit Chat. They just do straight up facts, and I think they do such a great job, and they're just really nice people. They've interviewed private investigators, law enforcement survivors, Columbine shooter survivors, and whoa, they even got Jodi Arias defense attorney.
No way. Yeah. And you know that's a crime that one of the few that I actually followed closely, so. Oh, we know you did you Dirty dog. Oops. . So if you are some of our crime listening people give 'em a listen. They're great. Oh yeah, for sure. They sound awesome. And how cool that they do two episodes a week.
Sheesh. Yeah, that's a really cool way for them to work together and just keep putting [00:25:00] content out. Every Monday. They do missing Mondays. Okay. So it's more missing stuff that has a little less information on it cause it's not solved and they each take turns on who has the Monday that week. Oh nice. Okay.
Yeah, well definitely give them a shout. I love making new podcast friends, so that's so lovely. Indeed. So here's some ads now Wamp.
And we are back and driven. I assume you have a petty crime story to tell today. I have a petty crime story and you just might like it. Ooh, you know, I bet I might. You might, because this one we will learn a little bit on. I love a good learning sesh, and it's a little bit about what you're listening to right now.
Why don't we just get into it? Okay. And, uh, you'll see, you'll see what I'm talking about. And here we go.[00:26:00]
The art of parody is very important to the world that we live in. It is a chance to look directly at the things we deal with on a daily basis and laugh at them , because let's be honest. A lot of the aspects of our current lives is stupid. It makes no sense. It's not like we have the ability to change the way the world works into something that is more fair with facets of our society, overcomplicated with politics and major companies more worried about the all important dollar, a lot of decisions made for the common people aren't actually made with those people in mind.
So what are those lower level people to do? It is a natural human response to try and make the best of a bad situation, and there's no better way to ease the tension than with a joke. Hey, knock, knock. Satirists and parody makers see these struggles and they capitalize on those feelings. They take those negative thoughts, notions of pessimism that [00:27:00] could easily be used to agitate and use them to entertain those dealing with the same feelings.
Instead, now I feel less alone. Whether it be poking fun at corporations, decision makers, or popular trends, there are so many funny things about the world we live in. The Onion News posts some of my favorite articles about the ugly parts of our society in a way that always makes me laugh. I grew up watching the Naked Gun movies where no cop drama or film cliche was left untouched.
And I listened to weird Al religiously in my teens as he cut no corners in making full versions of popular songs, but about some of the dumbest subjects. And now here I am, I started a podcast two years ago where I had the simple idea of, wouldn't it be funny to tell dumb crime stories in the same serious tone of overly dramatic True Crime podcast.
Together. Amanda and I have kept up with it and done that for two calendar years. In over [00:28:00] 100 episodes, I've started doing parody, motivational Monday posts that reflect my love for the onion, and I even find time to throw in a parody song here and there to look back at all that weird Al taught me these creative choices in the world of parody have led people to say things like, I don't get it.
A TikTok commenter to tell me that I told an interesting story in the most boring way. And need to liven up and have had some comedy lovers simply turn away just because they assume this is just another True Crime podcast. But the comedic bit of parody all lies within how you can sell it. Parody is nothing new and it's been around for hundreds of years.
Mark Twain made a lot of satirical pieces of writing, making him one of the great satirists he was once quoted in saying the humorous story is told Gravely, the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it. [00:29:00] I find that quote to be so true and powerful.
So why did I start this story talking about parody? Did I just wanna shoehorn in my backstory of this podcast on its two year pod anniversary? What's it to talk about The Onion, hoping that maybe someone will share this with them and they'll become my friend. We worship you. That's definitely part of it.
But today's story will actually tell the tale of another satirical thinker, someone who I can really see a lot of myself in. Unfortunately, though it was not the man's good work that brought him to my attention, this story taught me that although laughter is the best medicine, it can register as an illegal substance in the eyes of some law enforcement officers.
So grab your popcorn, relax, and be careful what you joke about because we are about to take another deep dive into a petty crime. 2016 was a very difficult and [00:30:00] divisive time in the United States with a very pivotal election on the horizon, tragedies in the news at a staggering rate, and the Flint, Michigan water crisis.
Americans had a lot to disagree. It doesn't help that media outlets were exploiting all of this for more views and revenue. Money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money. And in the middle of it all was Anthony. Anthony was your average guy living in Parma, Ohio. He had big ideas and like everyone else during this time, he had some opinions.
The problem with his opinions is that nobody really cared. Opinions in 2016 were like Motorola razors. In 2004, everybody had one. He would sit at his family's table for holidays just to listen to other members yell about their most believed conspiracy theories. A high school dropout on YouTube told me the earth was flat, and I believe him, and he would try to calm down by playing Farmville, [00:31:00] but popups for candidates kept blocking his screen.
There was no escaping it. Anthony too had opinions, but he never was the loudest person in the room. He had smart ideas, but it seemed like everyone around him was too focused on acting angry and yelling loudly. How could he get his words across in a world of ear splitting viewpoints, as Anthony was a bit more of a thinker.
He decided on one thing, a joke for as long as Anthony could remember. He was always able to express himself through his dark sense of humor, and most people around him seemed to really like it. When his school changed their meatloaf recipe to a less popular style, he started the rumor that they were just cooking the kids with the worst grades.
And when his parents grounded him for not taking the trash out, he drew Hitler mustaches on his parents' faces, on all their family photos. These acts really helped Anthony deal with bad situations. [00:32:00] He wasn't going to waste his breath getting into a shouting contest with somebody over political opinions, but he could entertain his friends and demonstrate his emotions in a more comical way.
for Anthony specifically, there was one part of all the political discussions that really got him worked up. The police. Unless you were living under a rock, I shouldn't need to explain the different strong opinions around police. In 2016, there were protests, deaths, and these really tacky versions of the American flag that people started using as bumper stickers For Anthony, he had a bit of a bone to pick with the police.
He felt the entire system was corrupt and wasn't too keen on some of the local happenings from his hometown, Parma Police Force. With all of this negative fuel in the system, he had to do something to express himself. Anthony had to get creative after racking his brain on the different things he could do to entertain [00:33:00] and also spread a message.
Anthony turned to Facebook. Facebook was already the central hub for everyone's bad opinions and unfounded anger. All he wanted to do was bring something different to the social media conversation, and so began Anthony's most epic joke he'd ever made. Fingers flying gracefully over the keys of his computer as his ideas poured out.
Epiphany after epiphany, more and more deep thoughts came. As Anthony stood up from his chair and looked at his creation, it's my masterpiece, Anthony said to himself as he hunched over his desk and clicked the publish button. Congratulations. Your page has published the little yellow box at the top of the screen said, As Anthony wept at his good work so fucking beautiful there on the screen of Anthony's computer was a brand new page called City of Parma Police Department.
Although his page [00:34:00] did look like a near replica of the official city of Parma Police Department Facebook profile, the subject matter was much different. Anthony posted a slogan of We Know Crime where the Word No is Felt incorrectly. He created a job posting stating that minority officers need not apply and even made an announcement that citizens could no longer legally feed the homeless.
To Anthony. He felt that this was the perfect way to make a joke, have a laugh, and ultimately just feel a little better about the injustices of the world. But on the other side of the city, the Parma Police Department was having much different feelings. The sounds of phones ringing blared over the entire precinct.
Extra operators were called in from vacation, and some officers even took on calls. Hello, why can't minorities apply for your posting? I'm disgusted that you all are giving abortions outta your police [00:35:00] fans. I'm calling to turn myself in. I fed a homeless person earlier this morning, one call after the other.
The confused officers and operators had to assure the citizens that none of those things were going on until Lieutenant Dan's voice rose above the clamorous telephones. Oh my crap. The man yelled S's bite of donut, fell out of his mouth and onto his desk. The other officer surrounded as they all looked on the screen, this criminal must have used some kind of black market Facebook cloning device.
Officer Marty said, what are we gonna do? Lieutenant Dan took the Cartoonishly large cigar out of his mouth and put it out. Will officer, I'm gonna fight fire with fire. Said the lieutenant as he logged into the police department's Facebook account and clicked make post, the other officers watched as Lieutenant Dan created a post announcing that there would be a criminal [00:36:00] investigation on the creator of the parody page.
They then had a group hug and cheered for their leader. You're the man, Dan. Meanwhile, it didn't take long for Anthony to get the message. He heated the threat and deleted the Facebook page immediately after being spooked by the criminal investigation. But it wasn't until a few days later, while in the parking lot of a gas station that Anthony found himself surrounded by cops.
Put your hands up. Fake Parma Facebook page one officer yelled as they placed Anthony in handcuffs, threw him in the back of their car and shoved a search warrant in his face. On March 1st, 2016, Parma, Ohio, man, Anthony Novak made a parody Facebook page of his local police department as the page Anthony poked fun at the station stance on racism, abortions, and the unhoused.
Within the same day of the posting, the Parma Police station received [00:37:00] around 10 calls, questioning the parody page's decisions before making a Facebook post of their own, stating that they would be conducting a criminal investigation on the creator of the page. The page was immediately shut down by its creator.
Having gained less than 100 followers and being active for less than a day, a few days later, however, Anthony was arrested in the parking lot of a convenience store for creating the fake Facebook page and being charged with using a computer to disrupt, interrupt, or impair the functions of any police operations.
Anthony was jailed for four days while having all of his personal items that could connect to the internet confiscated, including video game systems. Once in court, the jury of his peers found Anthony not guilty of any wrongdoing, and he was acquitted. However, after being wrongfully jailed for an act of parody, Anthony and his attorney decided to sue the Parma Police Department for violating his first amendment right to free speech.
The [00:38:00] Sixth Circuit Court ruled in favor of the police department stating that the officers were covered by qualified immunity. Although many qualified immunity cases ended citing with free speech, this did not. Anthony and his attorneys continued pushing the case for the next seven years, gaining support from parody websites, the Onion, and Babylon B.
This helped get the case all the way to the Supreme Court in February of 2023. Unfortunately, on February 23rd, the Supreme Court officially refused to hear the appeal, ending the argument once and for all, allowing the Parma Police Department to jail a man solely on using its free speech to mock the government.
Although this is a funny story and it fits perfectly in the scope of our show, covering weird arrests for dumb things, it really is pretty eye-opening. Sure, big entities like The Onion or Weird Al will never have to worry about this kind of backlash. But the little people who [00:39:00] like to use humor in a dark time, well, they may not be so safe.
I've often thought about things like this coming back on me with some of the things I like to poke fun of. At the end of the day, I guess I don't really know that I'm safe for my words, but that doesn't stop me for you all and my sanity. I'm not going to stop celebrating my free speech with my works of parody.
Maybe that's because I think a possible arrest could be good for ratings, or I'm just that punk rock. Whatever the case, it is important that we don't feel stifled by those with the power, and we continue to speak in ways that make us feel heard and expressed because there is nothing worse than being silenced and a life without expression.
Well, that's just not much of a life at all. Damn Anthony. Damn. So not only did he get absolved of this crime or whatever, but then he was [00:40:00] like, no, I'm gonna turn it back on you, . Yeah. I mean, they got into all of his personal business. They went through his phone, they went through his computer, everything.
Yeah. Just cause of that. Yeah. That's wild. And four days, we have covered cases on here that are way more damaging. Mm-hmm. and they haven't even had to spend a day in jail. Yeah. So that is wild to me. And also, it wasn't even like the Facebook page went viral or something. You said it was like a hundred people?
Yeah, less than a hundred. And it was active for less than a day. So it just kind of threw some Karen's off for a few hours and they're like, whoa, that's enough. That makes us so mad. Yeah. I think what they should have done, like, okay, I totally disagree with this. I. That they should have went to the Supreme Court, cuz that's what their argument is.
It's like, okay, in a lot of other situations, free speech has always won. Mm-hmm. . And so their argument is if you're going to go against your own rules, there needs to be a clear way of wording it to explain why in this [00:41:00] case. Mm-hmm. , it doesn't. And why in every other case it does. We need to know where the lines are to not cross so this doesn't happen again.
Totally. Which I, yeah, I get, I think what should have happened is even if they wanted to be dicks about it and say, because I said so and I'm not gonna give you a reason. I think Anthony deserves some sort of restitution just for the four days in jail. Yeah. If he was acquitted and they said you didn't do anything wrong, then you should be able to settle out of court and then gain something.
At least because I don't think the punishment fits the crime. Right. Since there wasn't technically a crime cuz you were acquitted. Yeah. Yeah. I get how it's discussing topics that are really heavy and it's definitely edgy. Yeah. Like what? Not controversial. Well, maybe controversial. Controversial, yeah.
Like it causes tension and stuff, but that just seems crazy to me. Yeah. I mean like to go through all of his technology, couldn't you just find out who did it and maybe be like, listen dude, you can't impersonate the police department online or whatever. If it [00:42:00] continued to go, that could create maybe some real issues or whatever.
Mm-hmm. like I could see that point if somebody really thought that was their page and was like, what is going on ? Right. I don't know. It just seems a bit extra, a bit much. They were definitely retaliating. Yeah. Like it was definitely like, I feel personally attacked by this and I'm gonna make you sorry for it.
But then at the end of the day, they got backed up on it, so it's okay. Yeah. And for him to be fighting this for seven years, I feel like for me, I'd probably just be like, huh, I'm glad I didn't get in trouble. But like . Yeah. He was like standing firm, which like I can respect, it's a once in a lifetime situation where something happens and you're like, I don't think that's the way it works.
And if I sue my way outta this, I should come out on top pretty good. Yeah. I mean, I totally get riding that opportunity out. Yeah. But yeah, I guess it just didn't work in that situation, which really sucks. But his jokes that he. All of those were exactly what he did. Okay. Not one thing about the jokes [00:43:00] were made up by me.
I mean, I like to make somewhat edgier jokes sometimes. Yeah. But I, I'm trying not to offend my listeners so much. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So none of that was made up by me. That's all his thing. Like no hiring minorities, the abortions and the police fan. Right. Like, these are all pretty heavy topics. . Yeah. It's stuff that'll, I forget how they would be upset, but yeah.
It's stuff that people have strong opinions about. and he was basically just saying that this police station is awful and does all the things that offends people, . And they had to take away his video games too. Like did he get all this stuff back afterwards? Oh, I'm sure he got it back. Okay. . But it doesn't mean that those cops didn't run through it, you know, they're like, no Xbox for you.
I, when I was younger, I was driving to work one day and I was speeding and I got pulled over and it was outside of a small town and the guy who pulled me over was a, uh, helmet, said Super Trooper . He was, I love Be something. He was a state [00:44:00] trooper. Okay. . And so he brought me back into his car and just like kept eyeballing me real weird.
And he's like, what are you, where are you going? He brought you into the cop car. He brought me into his cop car, which he had a bunch of little like webcam pointed at me. So I guess that's something they do. And he's like, where are you going to? And I'm like, wearing a gas station shirt. I'm like, work. He's like, uh, you high?
Like, no, I'm not high. He's like, your eyes are really red. I'm like, I don't know, dude. I wear contacts. Maybe my eyes are just parched. . What? He was like, well, I think I need to search your car anyway. And I was in my dad's truck, or I guess it was kind of my truck, but I said, whatever. I'm easygoing, dude. I don't care.
Yeah, he can search the truck. This probably should be told on a different one of our shows. But anyway, he, yeah, he said before a do it, uh, are there gonna be any bazookas or, and he, like, he literally went down this list. He's like gonna have crack pipes, this bazookas. Oh, crack pipes in bazookas. Wow. I think you and I talked about this.
I don't know if it was on a show or just recently where we said you kind of give that look like your gym from the office. [00:45:00] Yeah. And you look off and I was kind just like, am I being pumped? And I just kind of looked around. You looked at the cameras in the car, like, I was like, does anybody see this ? So then right after I did that, the guy looked at me and said, So we were trained in the academy that if somebody breaks eye contact during one of these questions, that means they're probably lying.
And that gives us reason to believe that you might have one of those items. And I was like, dude, you literally just looked me dead in my eyes and said, do you have bazookas or crack pipes in your car? And I was like, question silly. I, I just told him straight up question silly. And he said, well, can I search your vehicle?
And if I can't, you know, I'll just hold you here until I can get somebody else here to search your vehicle. And I was just like, whoa. He was like, this is crazy, Travis. Yeah. He said, I'll hold you here until I can get a warrant to search your vehicle. And I'm like, I don't care guy. I'm already running late to work, obviously you got me speeding, that's why.
Yeah. So I said, sure, search it. This dude destroyed the. He pulled the seat forward. Like my dad had a bunch of [00:46:00] like ropes and just like random stuff for like farming equipment and that dude just unearthed everything and just threw it around. It looked like somebody broke into my car just to like send me a message.
Like just made a huge nasty mess. Whoa. And then he came back and was just like, I didn't see anything. Oh my God, you're free to go, but watch your speeding. So he didn't even give you a speeding ticket? No. So I get back to my, Ooh, that's, that's someone on a power trip and everything of mine was just scattered around the truck in different spots.
I didn't know where a lot of stuff was and it's like, wow, there should be a rule against this. Yeah. Like unnecessary fuckery. But that's how I feel like probably what happened in this situation. Yeah. It's like you're gonna go to jail for four days because something about you is upsetting me or whatever.
Whoa. So I, I don't know, it may not be super related, but it's just kind of an abusive power. No, no, no, no, totally. No, I totally get it. I mean, I think your story should be, its its own little thing, even my God, . Yeah. [00:47:00] What a weird situation. But yeah, it's interesting. It's interesting when doing these petty crime stories, it, it usually depends who the crime happened to.
Mm-hmm. sometimes, or privilege the person has. But yeah, we cover a variety of different sentencing and punishments. But this one, yeah, this one surprised me a little bit. Yeah. I mean, you can tell that he had privilege because, well, I've seen pictures of him, but you can tell that he had privileged. He pushed it and tried to beat them after losing or after being free to go.
Totally. Somebody without the privilege would've just been like, woo, and went on . I'll take that win. But he was, I mean, which I kind of get, I mean, I guess that shows my privilege too. But if I had that chance, I'd have been like, no, you disrespected me. Yeah. Yeah. But he still lost. Damn. Well, what a time, Trevin.
Yeah. Whoa. Well, I also have a, uh, story to tell you all today. Mm-hmm. Um, I don't have a clear connection again for this time, so [00:48:00] obviously maybe I will, as I'm reading, I'll find one. But this is a story from the news, and this is another one where, and I, and I've only had these happen a time or two, but where the picture actually drew me in before I even knew what the crime was.
Hmm. And that's really all I'm gonna say. So, uh, here we go.
As people, we all have flaws. We dislike. Or traits we desperately wish we had. Just like the characters in The Wizard of Oz, most of our lives will be spent wandering around looking for something to make us whole. Maybe you are similar to the Cowardly Lion, hoping that one day you'll gain the courage to tell your wife you dislike her cooking, cook your own dinner, then we're perhaps you're more like the scarecrow, disappointed that your basic brain will never allow you [00:49:00] to participate on the show Jeopardy.
Uh, sorry. You don't know shit. But today's petty crime is about someone else's liking personality. A story that leads us off the yellow brick Road and straight to Shameless Street,
Nicholas Sherman. Nick was a stoic young man living in Chitina, New York during 2017. His looks and charm made it easy for him to attract ladies, but keeping a long-term relationship was another story usually around the four month mark. Whoever Nick was dating at the time would start to realize that Nick was a dick.
His lack of empathy and care always became a problem leading to a breakup. . Nick knew the routine well as the voices of his exes ran through his mind on a regular basis. You have [00:50:00] such a hard exterior, let me in. You're so cold sometimes, don't you have a heart? In the past, Nick wondered if something was wrong with him or his heart, but the thought quickly passed and Nick continued on with his life.
This was until his latest breakup, Nick and Victoria had dated for six months. Two months longer than the average relationship for him. But inevitably, his personality was revealed and Victoria had left him too, causing Nick to question if he really was as heartless as all of his exes had claimed.
Luckily for Nick, he had the perfect distraction from feeling his full emotions. The time had come for town's annual OZ extravaganza. After all, Chiao New York was the birthplace of the wonderful Wizard of Oz, author l [00:51:00] Frank Bomb, and holds a three day festival each year. To celebrate this year, Nick had been hired by a local business to play one of the infamous characters of Oz.
It was only fitting that he was selected to play the part of the tin. The heartless and empty shell of a man. Nick covered his face with a metallic silver face paint and used black eyeliner to make the details pop. He zipped up the Tin Man costume and then turned to look in his mirror. He was festival ready.
Unfortunately, for Nick, the festival was a bust. Everyone only came to see the young lady dressed as Dorothy. Plus kids were constantly coming up to him and kicking his legs to see if they were real metal. If it weren't bad enough, Nick found himself thinking about Victoria again. The irony of his tin suit had become too much to [00:52:00] bear, so Nick left his post and made his way over to the beer tent 15 beers Later, Nick could barely fill his paint covered face, but knew he was smiling.
His ex-girlfriends just didn't know the real hymn, the fun hymn. It was then in his drunken mind that Nick formed a plan to show his ex just how fun loving he could be, still in full makeup and costume. The intoxicated Tin Man hopped into his car and began to drive. On Sunday, June 4th, 2017, New York State Police received a call that an intoxicated person dressed as the Tin Man was wandering around a private residence in the nearby town of Sullivan.
The caller stated that they had asked the Tin Man to leave their property, but that he refused. They identified the Tin Man as [00:53:00] 31 year old Nicholas Sherman. Nicholas explained that he was in costume because he was hired for the local Stravaganza Festival, but he failed to explain why he drove under the influence.
Or how he ended up in a stranger's yard. Nick's blood alcohol content was zero point 19%, more than twice the legal limit. He was ultimately charged with a misdemeanor count of aggravated driving while intoxicated as people. We all have character flaws and insecurities, but I hope that this twisted tail can bring you at least a sliver of comfort and peace because no matter how much we lack in our personality, most of us will never have an embarrassing mugshot and silver face paint.
So follow the yellow brick road or travel somewhere over the rainbow. Just keep in mind that there's no place like home in your regular [00:54:00] clothes and far, far away from jail.
Oz Extravaganza. . That's a really hard name to say. Yeah, I heard you struggle with that a little bit. I don't wanna have to say that, right. Oz extravaganza. Yeah, it's very hard. I have to take like a really long pause in between. Before we jump into this, I just wanna say of course, again, this was another one where basically this guy's mugshot was the gripping part of it all.
Oh yeah. I forgot you said that at the beginning. Yeah. Yes. And I'm going to pull it up for you real quick because you, you just gotta see it. This is this mugshot, dummy, so that's why he put, he had the silver face paint and the black eyeliner, like he literally put black eyeliner on the corners of his smile and put it around his eyes.
He may have filled in his eyebrows. I don't know. They're pretty dark. They're pretty defined. I mean, I expected him [00:55:00] to be wearing. The little like oil cap hat . I could only wish it looks like, I don't know if he just had his face paint on when he got arrested or if they made him change out of it. Mm-hmm.
for the mugshot, I don't know. But it was another one of those where there wasn't a lot of details about how this happened, why this happened. So I know nothing about Nicholas or his love life. I don't even know if the guy goes by Nick. I just selfishly found Nick to be easier to be telling a story than saying Nicholas every time
So that's why I kind of said that at the beginning. But yeah, I don't, I don't know his backstory. And obviously his ex-girlfriend Victoria was made up and his motivation. Yeah, we don't actually know if he's heartless. We don't know if he has an empty chest. We don't know. But I just found it to be really ironic and wanted to tie that in.
But yeah, every article that I read, nobody knows where he was actually going while driving drunk. [00:56:00] He didn't even really give an explanation of like, where are you going? Why are you here? Why are you wandering around? All he was telling police is, oh, the reason I'm dressed as the 10 man is because of, this is the only quotes that I could find.
Also, some articles said he drove with another man to the residence and some of them acted like he just drove there by himself. Ah, don't you hate when they conflict like that? Yeah. So I just told the story as if he was alone. I honestly couldn't figure out if he was with someone else or not. It would've been kind of funny if the person he was with was like dressed as the scarecrow.
Yeah, I was saying the same thing. Yep. But I guarantee that would have been included if they were. Oh, for sure. But yeah, so he was just a drunk guy who drove, which don't do that. People come on for, for fuck's sake, during this year they had Uber. Right. I mean, oh yeah. So yeah, there's no excuses. Just go as the 10 man in the back of an Uber.
Yeah. That's always fun, you know? You know, I was [00:57:00] also surprised when you said that the writer of Wizard of Oz was from New York. Yeah, I just figured he probably would've been from Kansas. From Kansas . Right. Yeah, I know. I was actually shocked too, but yeah, and I almost re-watched the movie. Mm-hmm. to like get inspired, but I ended up just watching different clips and I just wanted to re-watch the scene of like when they found the Tin Man.
Just like descriptions of him and stuff. Like his mouth stuck together and it's like, yeah. Yeah. They had to oil like each and every spot. So when I was like talking about his exes, I kind of threw in some details like just to try and tie that all in. Mm-hmm. . But yeah, I didn't watch the whole movie cuz it's really long.
Yeah, it's a classic though. Emily was always scared of the monkeys as a kid, so I don't think I'll get her to watch it with me, but, oh, I've got, I've actually got two petty crime stories that I'm waiting to write on because I have to watch movies to get myself inspired for them. See , well do what I did if you need to and just watch the clips cuz I saw this one and I wanted to do it and I wanted to tie it in with the Wizard of Oz.
[00:58:00] Really? Well I think the clips helped me enough but mm-hmm. , if you have the time, watch the full movie, you know? Yeah. , I'm always done for watching movies. true that and I also, I almost watched it with Lila, but I was like, it's not gonna like scar her for life. I don't know. She likes spooky shit. She does.
She'd probably enjoy it, honestly. I think she'd be fine. I saw Wizard of Oz at a young age. Yeah. So did I. . So did I. And if she can watch Nightmare before Christmas, I think you'd be all right. That's true. So do you have any connections? Oh man. The only thing I could think of, which is we is weak, is you and I both had two different parts.
We broke out and did three voices reacting to something. That is so true. That's a little comedic motif that we use every once in a while, and we both used it. That's about the best I've got. I mean, I know mine didn't even have driving at it, which when I'm doing sound effects, I feel like I do a car sound effect in almost every episode.
Right, right, right. And mine didn't have any cars, I don't think. Yeah. The only very loose and weak [00:59:00] connection I could think of is that your guy was pretending to be the cops and my guy was pretending to be the Tin Man. , but they're not even Yeah. Connected really deeply. So this is another one we're looking to you listeners to tell us, cuz I don't know.
They don't really. Have that much in common. Not even like a weird specific thing that's standing out to me. I mean, I guess if I wanted to go really vague, I could just say performance art. Oh, okay. You know, your guy was in a play performing arts. My dude was making a satirical page as a performance art.
There you go. Look at me. Look at you. Go look at you thriving. And also before we started recording this episode, we did not discuss this. We completely forgot to. It is the two year anniversary episode. I know. And I didn't even comment on that after your story either, which I totally meant to do. I cannot believe I was not prepared for that at all.
Yeah, it's snuck up on us. As I said last week, I'm doing a lot of other extra work stuff and yeah, [01:00:00] it's just a weird week for us, I guess. I know. I know. I mean, I, I have the girls, we've had some family health stuff going on, so yeah, I have not been fully zoned in, but congratulations to us, to our show, to our doomed crew.
We have made it two full years. Two years. Two years. Two years. We don't have two phones or two chains, but we did make it two years. No, I can't afford the chains . Yeah. It also just is weird when you think about 52 weeks in a year, you hit two years really close to hitting 100, so it totally, we didn't wanna be continuously celebrating all the time too, so, you know.
But you know what? Life is a celebration. If you want to celebrate us, you can. Yeah. And maybe we'll announce something like special or fun on social media in celebration. We didn't do like a full-on whole like episode thing, but maybe give us a follow and we'll try and do something fun. I don't know what it is yet, but tune in.
Yeah. If you don't [01:01:00] already follow us. Make sure you do, because. We might drop something fun to make up for our mistake here. Yes, . But thank you to everyone who has stuck with us for the past two freaking years, or to all of our new listeners who are now like binging the past couple years with us. Mm-hmm.
we've talked about that on previous episodes. How fun it is to kind of go back through memory lane with everyone who's just starting and to everyone who's going back. And I'm sure they've realized this, but we did have a couple people mention our name change again. Yeah. And it's like, okay, , like we started with one and yeah.
Ended with another, but here we are. Same show. We won't change it again. No, we have no plan of that . But I just want everyone to have an amazing week out there. And just remember, no matter the crime, big or small, in the end, we're all doomed. Doomed to do things performing[01:02:00]
I wasn't prepared again. Wow. So we're gonna go and take a nap now. It sounds like . Yeah. That brain Trevin.. I'm gonna keep that . Bye. See ya. No need to click those heels together because we hope you feel right at home while listening to our show. And if you wanna take your love for parody a little bit further than just our show, you do it on social media, give us a follow on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok or Twitter Live.
Laugh larceny. And send us an email, whether it be a petty crime story that you've experienced or you think you have the world's ugliest dog alive. Send us your pictures and stories to live laugh larceny gmail.com and let's see if we can turn giving live Laugh larceny, five stars into a weird sport. I want to get the high score for stars and you guys can help us achieve it.
Apple Podcast, Spotify, or good pods.[01:03:00]
Welcome to Live Laugh larceny. When you get, oh wait, I cannot hear you at all. You can't. Oh my,
here we go.
I can't hear a damn thing through these headphones that aren't plugged in. Oh my God. Is that the blooper? Oh, probably. Okay. I can hear you now. Holy shit. So sorry, .