EP 213: Caller IDentified

00:00

Live Laugh Larseny discusses true petty crimes that may be disturbing to some. Or could be easy listening to all you psychopaths out there. All stories are based on actual events. Ehh, but details may vary. Listener discretion is not advised.

00:44

Welcome to live laugh larceny when manageable tasks strike back This is Trevon and I'm Amanda don't you hate it when that happens I do hate it when that happens because they're always the ones that make you feel the most stupidest when you do get them done Oh for sure. So Trevon, yes, does this tie into your dreadful dilemma this week? It really does. Oh my god. Okay

01:11

So one of my many manageable tasks or things that maybe I don't give as much attention to as I should is our social media. And I think this is probably a thing for a lot of creators is we have a passion for something and it's usually not running a social media account or finding a way to turn our fun into something that social media can use. Absolutely. It's a struggle every day. But unfortunately that's where a lot of attention has to go.

01:39

So I've worked towards shuffling things around and making some changes. I'm working with a new video guy and he's been doing a great job. With having all these new videos to work with, I'm trying to find ways to do the social media thing easier.

01:56

Right. Because I hate doing it. And a lot of times, I don't know, it's like, you almost get yourself anxious, like, oh, I have to make another post today and then another post tomorrow, another post after that. And then you think so much about it that you're just like, won't even do the one today. It's so out of my comfort zone and it almost feels pointless most of the time. Anyway, I've been trying to do better about, hey, let's sit down and take an hour of our time, come up with the captions for these things and let's schedule them and put them out. And I've been doing that. And

02:23

It's been so nice to wake up and think, oh, I don't have to think about Facebook again for four days. It's very nice. But one thing that I have found, and I know there's a fix to this already. I just haven't done my research to figure out which one to go with yet. But one thing that's really annoying that I found, because I'm trying to schedule ahead and not think as much, there's a lot of limitations on what features you can use.

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depending on whether you're on mobile or whether you're on a desktop computer. It is so infuriating and annoying because I can schedule my TikToks from my desktop computer, but I cannot schedule TikTok from my phone. I can schedule Instagram or Facebook from my phone really well, but for some reason there's a screw up with my Meta business account that will not let me.

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do one or the other, I do not know why. You can't schedule YouTube from your phone, you can only schedule from a computer, and then when you're on that one, you can't change the icon of your video from the computer, you can only change the icon from your phone. Come on, come on! So why you bouncing me back and forth like this? Yeah, unfair, we're just trying to create some content, make it easy! I've heard of multiple ones of these, like,

03:46

third party apps where you can just schedule all of this together. I have not done my research on which one's the best one. I don't know what everybody else is using, but if you have suggestions, who knows if I will fix this problem by the time this episode comes out. But it's one of those things that I'm thinking smarter, not harder by doing this. But if I don't think of a better way of fixing this issue, I'll just be doing another thing more harder, but at least it's.

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getting the content out, right? Right. ah Please go like every video of ours, please. Yeah, do whatever liking and sharing and stuff that you can do. We're not the best, but damn it, we're trying out here. We're the best in our own hearts. Yeah. Well, Trevin, that is very dreadful. Thank you. Just technology should catch up. Why are we in this place, right? I ask myself that every day. Well, I also have a dreadful dilemma.

04:43

And this is something that I've already nerded out to you and Emily about. And that is my latest obsession with K-pop demon hunters. Okay, yes. You guys, know it's been out for, and by the time this episode comes out, I'm sure it's been out for a while, but I've also been watching it for a while, okay? So give me that. Oh, you know, just to interject here.

05:10

I was listening back to one of our older episodes and coming up with some notes. It was in your Cold Place story. said, my wife likes K-pop. Yes. And that was before you and I had had that conversation. And I was like, Ooh, that was a little Easter egg. That conversation was coming. I didn't even know it. So see you guys. This is kind of an inside joke for you too, because that line was written from Amanda's experience. literally it was. So for those who don't know yet, K-pop Demon Hunters is

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a musical, it's a movie, it's on Netflix. And sure, maybe some would say it's for kids because it's animated. I think it's for people of all ages. And let me just say, I have not been so excited about a soundtrack probably since Encanto, like as far as animated movie soundtracks go. I remember that was a dreadful dilemma of mine years back because of the Bruno song. Since then, this is the

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best animated soundtrack I've heard in quite some time. It's made me question my own identity. I guess I like K-pop. The music though, the illustration work, the storyline, it's just so good. But you guys, I'm embarrassed to admit that even on the drive here to record to Trevon's house, I, as an adult was jamming out to K-pop Demon Hunter's soundtrack.

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So this hasn't even opened the door for you to be like, I like K-pop in general. It's just, no, I like this soundtrack. I keep listening to this children's movie soundtrack. It's so good though. And I know, I just know in my soul and my heart and in my gut and maybe even in my butt that the crowd that's listening right now is going to have my back. I guarantee you there are so many fans right now of it.

07:03

Is it really this popular? It is because I had a play date yesterday with my daughter's friends and her mom and she was telling me that because it's such a big hit that it is coming to theaters. Wow. I don't know when that's happening or where, but I would love to see it on the big screen. Oh, what if it was at that theater down here that has the like kids theater with the, yeah. But the jungle gym. No, that would literally be perfect.

07:32

I'm starting to find that I have more gaps in what's popular that I don't know about the older I get. And it looked to me like just sort of a basic Netflix kids thing that I didn't think would be a viral thing. Oh no, it is so popular that it's like breaking records and music kind of like inconto did when the music came out. I even heard it playing at the store that I work at because they played like top hits the other day and I was like, no way!

08:03

Hunters is on the system right now. As someone who loves music, I really encourage you, give it a listen, Trevin. You might be surprised. It was very funny. Amanda came over and was, I guess it was before we recorded last week. You came in with this pep in your step like, what up guys, ready to record? And you're like, sorry, I was just listening to K-pop Demon Hunters on my way here. And I'm like, what is she talking about?

08:30

And you're like, you have to check this out. And you just pulled out your phone and showed us a YouTube commercial first. And we're like, oops. But then you finally got it going and you're just singing along to these girls while they're just dancing and punching bad guys. That's how it's done, done, done. That's the one I showed you. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, it's just a regular day. Amanda's showing us kids music and telling us how much she loves it. So I didn't think it was actually popular. I thought it just took I didn't realize it was that popular either.

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I just saw that it was new on Netflix and the girls that I watched it fell madly in love with it. And then just recently I'm realizing like everyone is loving it. It's not just us. The art style is really cool though. Oh yeah. It's so visually appealing and ah I just love it. So please, if others out there right now are jamming on repeat to the soundtrack, just know that you're not alone. I'm right there with you.

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Or if you're parents who are tired of your kids annoying music, maybe you should turn your kids on to this K-pop demon hunter stuff. Yes, it's much more bearable to listen to in the car ride than the wheels on the bus. I'll tell you that. Well, Trevin, uh we are going to be doing a round of top five this week.

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Two, three, four.

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Side note, can you believe that my sweet baby who did the top five sound drop is going to be a freaking second grader? My goodness. She sounds like a little BB in that voice. can't. You remind me of this meme I saw this morning that said, everywhere every parent can't believe that their kid is going into any grade. uh

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But no, I cannot believe that she's gonna be a second grader. I'm gonna be shocked every year. What age is that again, seven? Yeah. Seven years ago. Seven years old ago. Wow, I should never be able to speak again. So for my top five this week, I thought about tackling one of the scariest things to millennials today. This has plagued and followed me my whole life and I still can't get away from it.

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Phone calls. Oh my god, true! Very rarely do I welcome it ringing. Honestly, why are you fucking calling me? And it's usually just scam likely. Yeah. Most of these calls don't matter. None of ever do. But there was a time where phone calls did. Oh, for sure. And so I want to give you, from my own research, Trevin's top five most important calls in history. Oh!

11:21

They're probably going to have historical ties, right? Cause it's in history. So I'm thinking maybe like one of the calls might end a battle. One of them might be saving someone's life. I think there's going to be a big breakup over the phone. These are just a few of my ideas. I don't know if I'm on to something or not. I wish.

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I didn't really find a lot of really good specific things that were just like, the call did it all. I'll give you what I've come up with. Okay, let's hear it. So for my number five, I have the most royal call. oh And this is coming from a user named Charlotte Minhennett. Their LinkedIn profile, they wrote an article about important phone calls. I'm going to be using a mixture of them, BBC, and a website called Uma. So between the three, that's where I'm getting my blurbs and I did my research. Cool.

12:16

The most royal call. Queen Elizabeth II called Lord Provost of Edinburgh from Bristol. Her words? This is the Queen speaking from Bristol. Good afternoon, my Lord Provost. Why it matters? It was the first long distance UK call made without an operator. A huge leap in telephone independence at the time. Okay, I'm loving that quote. Simple, elegant, regal. Yes.

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This is my first time without having some operator listening to me. Now that it's just you and me. Let me introduce myself. I am the queen. Honestly though, could you imagine every single time you had a phone call, you had an operator listening in? Yeah. Get out. I'd feel so rude. Like I don't want to trouble you, but I really wanted to call my mama. My mama. I need to cry about how life isn't working out for me. For you it'd be like,

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You're calling her again. Don't you live next door? Like operator, just put me through. Yeah. See, we had it easy.

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For number four, the first call on a cell network from 1973. Motorola engineer Marty Cooper made the first mobile phone call in New York City. He called a rival at Bell Labs and bragged that he was using a handheld portable phone. The prototype was huge. It took 10 hours to charge, weighed almost two pounds, and it only lasted 30 minutes of talk time. Bless your heart. Yeah.

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The moment kicked off the mobile revolution that reshaped communication forever. Damn. I still remember car phones. Yeah. The rich kid at school had a car phone. This first call here on the cell network, this was 10 years before cell phone technology was even available for people to buy. Oh, wow. That was a really big innovation. And especially your first call is to call your rival to be like, I'm doing what you're not.

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Like ring ring bitch, come at me, leave a message at the tone. Yeah, I'm into that. Number three, the call that saved Apple from 1997. Steve Jobs, newly back as Apple CEO, called Bill Gates and secured a $150 million investment from Microsoft. The lifeline stabilized Apple, leading to the iMac, iPod, iPhone and iPad.

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It transformed Apple from near bankruptcy into one of the most valuable brands in the world. Without this call, Apple as we know it, and arguably the smartphone revolution, might not exist. That's a pretty damn important phone call. Could you imagine no iPhones in the world at all? I mean, somebody would probably step in and do it. I get it, but... But would they though? I don't know. I don't know. iPad, iPod, iThis, iThat. I don't know what I want for Christmas if this doesn't exist, you know?

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Number two, the first call to the moon from 1969. Right after Apollo 11's moon landing, President Nixon called Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin. His words? Hello, Neil and Buzz. I am talking to you by telephone from the Oval Room at the White House. And this certainly has to be the most historic telephone call ever made.

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Porniness level? Is that an all-time high? You watch movies back in the day and you say like why does everybody speak in exposition? Like why do they have to explain everything when they're speaking? It's just like hello my wife that I've known for 14 years but have been complicated with for two. Like that's the weirdest writing ever nobody talks like that but then you hear these quotes and it's like hello Neil and Buzz I am the president talking to you from this room.

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Like maybe they really did speak like that back then. Cause yeah, in those like old black and white movies, they really do overly explain themselves. I mean, I don't mind. I like context, but people today don't do it like that. No. The call traveled the furthest distance ever at the time and symbolized human achievement in space exploration. So this wasn't just a big deal cause it went to the moon, but technically it was the furthest traveling phone call ever.

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And then number one, and this is because I just have to spite Nixon a little bit. He said that was the most historic telephone call ever made. Well, you made number two on my list because I am a bit of a purist. And for number one, the greatest phone call ever made was the first. The first telephone call ever made from 1876, Alexander Graham Bell called his assistant Thomas Watson. And do you...

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Wanna guess what he said to him? Maybe he introduced himself in his full first, middle, and last name. Maybe he said, hi, this is a telephone call. I mean, at this point, I don't have high hopes. So he called him from the other room and said, Mr. Watson, come here, I want to see you.

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This was the birth of telecommunication itself. Without this call, none of the others would have been possible. Wow. Bossy AF, first of all. Yeah. What if he was in the middle of something? Like, what? Who is this inside of the phone? Yeah. I'm sorry, robot box, but I'm kind of in the middle of a task. I don't need to go over and see him right now. Very sassy. Yeah. But I guess he knows what he wants when he wants it. I don't know. I think I would have messed with him more.

18:06

Wow, those are great, great phone calls, Trevin. I appreciate your list. Thank you. I mean, even though maybe they weren't necessarily life or death, they were very impressive. There were some of those, but then I just started thinking about the revolution of the phone and how they're important for the history of phones themselves. Yes, I liked the angle that you took. There was some big calls between like, it's a JFK to help.

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Martin Luther King and stuff. There was like three very important phone calls that helped make that happen that like got him out of jail. Oh, okay. But a lot of times they didn't have many situations where they just hammered it down as one call did it. Right, right, right. Yeah, it took a few follow ups to make an impact. Well, Trevin, I also have a top five for you.

18:54

This was inspired by my real life. This was actually almost a dreadful dilemma, but I decided that I shouldn't publicly embarrass my children too much. They will get older and bigger than you one day. I know. Just to clarify that a little bit. I recently took both of my daughters to get their ears pierced and let's just say it was very dramatic.

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there were some meltdowns and it took a very long time, but we ended up leaving with their ears pierced. I ended up putting my earrings back in for solidarity. I have seven piercings. Holy shit, I didn't realize how long it takes for them to feel normal again after not wearing jewelry in your ears for so long. So anyway, this top five was inspired by that. And I am coming from inkedmag.com.

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The title of the article written by Devin Preston is 20 Extreme Piercings You Won't Believe Exist. I'm going to narrow it down to my top five though. Ooh, okay. Do you have any guesses, Trevin? Butthole. Come on, come on, butthole. What do got? do we got? All of these, if you want to see them all, just go to that website, but they all have a photo.

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except for one of them is so graphic that it just has a diagram. So I'll show you that one too. Oh, I feel so like an edge lord right now. So for number five, we are going to go with the gum piercing, which Trevin, it is a piercing that goes above your teeth in your gums. This person that I'm showing you has one.

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Like two buck teeth. Yep. Yep. Picture it right above your two front teeth going completely through your gums. But why? Oh, I never even wanted a tongue ring. I'm just thinking of all the things that that would get bumped on. Not only would it get bumped on your lip, but as you're eating or even if you smile or like a straight piece of food just moves it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So many things can go wrong. I get the want to accessorize.

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But I feel like you would have that. And the only thing that would really do is have a lot of people come up to you and say, is there something between your teeth? Right. It's like, yeah, I do that on purpose. Oh, OK. And then like the 20th time, you're like, regret this thing. No, seriously, what the actual hell? Oh, just picturing like something going through that. And then having like a piece of metal just scrape your tooth every once in a while. No, no hate. Just not for us. OK. Yeah, it just would make me feel really uncomfortable. But nothing wrong with you for liking it.

21:44

This next one is a little more probably expected. That's why I'm making it number four, but don't get me wrong. This one would probably hurt, probably one of the worst, but I'm gonna go with the gooch piercing. Gooch. Gooch, gooch, gooch, gooch, gooch. I mean, this is the one that they couldn't show an actual image of obviously, but.

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a guy got the area between his bumhole and his balls pierced, you guys. Picture sitting on that every day. I again don't see the appeal in it. feel like also logistically, I feel like it would make life a little harder. And not very many people would see it, I guess, unless you're showing a lot of people. you're very proud or you drop stuff in short skirts a lot. I just feel like...

22:34

That's too close to where you do your business, right? Like, I'm sorry. It's hard enough to keep earring piercings clean. Can you imagine? Like, no, don't even get me started. That's the thing too, is I'm just too lazy for a lot of this stuff. Oh yeah. It's like people have pet reptiles. It's like, that's cute. That's nice for you. It's just, that's a lot of work. Yes. The maintenance on all of these is extreme. Number three.

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is the eyelid piercing. I wondered if that would be one. Yeah, I should have said that. kind of like an eyebrow piercing, like the ring, but it's actually one corner of your outer eyelid and then underneath the lid of your eye. But the metal doesn't actually touch your eyeball at all? It might. I mean, look how dang close that is. And I got floppy eyelids. You do?

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You know, a doctor actually told me this, so I gotta... Yeah, you medically have been diagnosed with floppy eyelid syndrome. You don't need anything else flopping those babies down. Yeah, we don't need to weigh them down at all. Gravity's already doing them a number. I actually am the worst person to have to do my makeup to because of the eye thing.

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Anytime people try to do eyeliner, mascara, or curling of the eyelashes or anything that close to my eye, I'm like, oh, very sensitive. So there's just no way in hell I would ever do this. No. Now, this one is a more bizarre piercing. You know how people put gauges in their ears to widen the hole? Yes, to make that hole real big. that's not the only place you can do it. And this is called a stretched labre piercing.

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Wow. Oh, okay. Yes. I've seen these. Yeah. It's underneath the bottom lip and a circle is like almost cut out so you can see the teeth of your lower jaw and it's gauged out with this lady in the picture has just a thin piece of metal in there. And so you can see inside. This is another one where I'm like, if you can never fully shut your mouth, what kind of things could go up in there?

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I mean, I feel like there's just gonna be times in your life where you're gonna want your mouth to be airtight, you know?

24:55

Spiders are already trying to crawl in our mouths as we sleep. Like that just gives them a perfect doorway. Another thing where maintenance and logistics of life, it just gets a little harder. This is stupid, but like, I wonder if people maybe would look at you like...

25:12

You're lying through your teeth because they can see your teeth all the time and maybe they just think you're a liar right off the bat. There's a cat in your closet. The door was shaking. I believe it. So you completely lose your poker face because they can see when you're lying through your teeth. Exactly. That's what I was getting at. Thank you. Are you ready for my number one? Any guesses? You've seen all the other you me no on butthole. Yeah, no buttholes today. How about forehead wrinkles?

25:40

I'm just trying to think crazy. That is inventive, I need that. I need to bedazzle all of these fine lines. So no Trevon, it's actually a uvula piercing the dangly thing in the back of your throat. Oh, oh. So someone actually has a full on hoop piercing in the dangly thing. Absolutely not. And you and I are chronic throat clears too. I know. You and I would not be able to stop.

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paying attention to that. No, I'd be oh like, if most people probably wouldn't notice it, you and I would make ourselves feel like we notice it. Can anybody tell me, have any of you gotten those piercings? Because wow, wow, wow, I need to know. Yeah, send us your piercings. So Trevin, yes, I'm not going to give ads for weird piercings today, but I'll give the people some of these.

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And welcome back from that shopping spree from all those ads. It is my week to tell my story first. I know I did kind of tell my vacation story first, but I thought, does that count in the same way of like how we switch off with our stories and stuff? And I thought, no, because that's just a kooky little fun thing. And we get back to my story first. This story hit me very quickly. I was watching...

27:09

The Daily Show. and I are big fans of The Daily Show. We like each host for different things. We went and saw Josh Johnson do a standup show not too long ago. Ronnie Chang had a segment called, I think it was like, The World is Dumb, or Everything in the World is Dumb or something like that. And he shared a crime, a recent crime that happened. I thought this is so perfect for my show. The jokes that he did was nothing like what I want to do with it.

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Okay. This was actually a weekend where I wrote that whole story in one day and then wrote next week's story at least halfway in two days. So I was pretty proud of myself. Wow. This is going to be a very fun one. I look forward to it and it might have a little bit of a tie in with my top five. Okay. So if destiny calls, pick up the phone. If not, keep listening to my story. And here we go.

28:09

The weight of a phone call leaves an imprint far greater than anything physical evidence can explain. After all, the only thing transmitted from one end to the other is sound. And yet, it carries everything. From a panic attack while opening up to your parents, to bill collectors, to even the greatest news someone could receive. But we haven't had sex in months. There's no telling what a phone call may bring, which is exactly why millennials avoid them at all costs. Because when a phone rings,

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It demands attention. When it's picked up, it becomes an obligation to the unknown. Whether it's shattering families, saving lives, or weaseling out of plans, by accepting the call, you push the plot forward. And whatever comes after your greeting of choice could be the last shred of normalcy you ever witness. Today, one call is going to carry much more than just ASMR mouth noises into someone's ear. It's going to bring terror. And by the time this one's over, you just might put your phone in airplane mode.

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for life.

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The city of Twinsburg, is a great place to retire. For 67-year-old Karen, the fact that she was enjoying retirement there was no accident. It was a carefully curated decision. Back when she was bright-eyed and middle-aged, she bought her home with the future in mind. I could really get arthritis here. From the clean cul-de-sacs to the quiet cookie-cutter suburbs, she knew this was where the frailty of aging could be embraced, comfortably nestled in a community built for winding down. But while Karen had the foresight to pick out her perfect grandma home,

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There was one part of the equation she hadn't prepared for. Everyone else. Although the town still had its spacious sidewalks and privacy fences, the neighbors of yesteryear had all slowly died, gone bankrupt, or moved to Florida, paving the way for younger generations to infiltrate her sanctuary. This lady's blouse gives me hella ribs. No cap! It was still mostly quiet, but Karen knew better. There was more disturbances now. More children. More noise.

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And since she had retired from a long career as a 911 dispatcher, she didn't mind paying it forward, offering the kind of help she wished she had back in her day. If a dog barked too long, or kid lit a cigarette, Karen was dialing. Even overpriced used cars weren't safe from her wrath.

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She'd call the non-emergency line and drop a tip to the Twinsburg PD. Because when she wasn't knitting socks or playing backgammon with the girls, she was moonlighting as the neighborhood watchdog. And unlike most watchdogs, Karen got up before the sun. She leaned with it, rocked with it, slowly in her Boston rocker. From her front window, she admired her recent landscaping job and the squirrels playing in the trees. The morning sun warmed her lap and bounced off her glasses like a little hug from nature.

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She pulled her hideous crocheted blanket a little higher, relaxing her neck, just as an unexpected sound caused it to tense again. oh Her view outside, which moments ago could have passed as a painting of perfect suburban peace, was now sliced through by a street parker. Karen's eyes narrowed as a red Ford settled between her and her neighbor's homes.

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She reached for the notepad on her side table and began to take notes. Once every discernible feature had been logged, the driver's door opened, giving her even more to record. A white man stepped out holding a paper bag and a drink tray. He circled the vehicle and approached the neighbor's porch. Carefully, he set the items on the doormat and took a photo, before retreating to his unmarked car and escaping the scene. Karen finished her notes and inspected what she could see of the bag on the porch.

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plain unbranded paper sack. Without a recognizable logo, the package seems suspicious. With her gray cordless phone at the ready, Karen dialed 169-6969, the number to Twinberg ED's non-emergency line. uh

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Hi, you've reached the police department's non-emergency line. We are currently short staffed to afford more guns. Please leave a message with the details of your non-emergency and we'll get to them whenever we feel like it. If this is an emergency, please hang up and dial 911 and this system will be happy to put you on hold. I'm calling to report a possible non-emergency at the 14th block of Dickens Lane. I saw a white man in a red Ford drop off a bag and drink tray at a neighbor's home. And I'm not an idiot.

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I know about Door Dash, but this bag was unmarked and I think one of the drinks might be missing that very protective sticker that's 100 % tamper-proof. If nothing else, that Dasher doesn't deserve five stars. After hanging up, Karen turned her gaze back toward her neighbor's home, just in time to see the husband notice the delivery. Hey babe, guess who's horny and made dinner? He scooped up the tray and bag with precision, then disappeared back inside.

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Better safe than sorry. Karen whispered to herself, pulling the puke-colored crocheted blanket back over her lap. Weeks passed, and although Karen continued noticing questionable happenings, You wanna buy a Mormon butt? nothing escalated from her notebook to a phone call until a Friday in June when her dialing finger began to itch. It started when a disembodied giggle interrupted a sip from her dandelion tea. Although she drank it for constipation,

33:39

Karen found something else moving freely out of her. Suspicion. She made her way to the window, parting the blinds to check for signs of mischief. There were plenty of nearby homes the laugh could have come from, but Karen found no validation in the peaceful scene through the glass. Then a truck drove by, causing her to gasp in shock. It was going the appropriate speed limit. She just wasn't expecting it. Karen was on high alert. There was something in the air, a disturbance that piqued her anxiety. She switched the camera meal.

34:07

But the greasy flavor with notes of apple and hay couldn't calm her nerves past the noise that followed. The mail carrier slammed mailboxes, a distant car alarm wailed, dogs barked, a man mowed his lawn while eating really crunchy chips, and then Karen farted. A sound from her own body, yet it still startled her, proof she thought that even her anus was conspiring against her. With her senses heightened, Karen moved gingerly about the house, ready to investigate the source of any disturbance.

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She listened intently for the sound of a porno mag opening or a child using chat GPT on their homework. But then a sharp sound cut through her concentration. oh

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Karen felt her constipation disappear as she reached for the cordless phone. She turned the ugly hunk of plastic over to reveal a small digital readout illuminated in a pissy green backlight, Twinsburg Police Department. The possibilities raised their mind. Were they followed up on a past tip? Was someone in her family hurt? With no more hesitation, Karen pressed the talk button and raised the receiver. Hello? Hello, may I speak to Karen Clinton? Speaking.

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This is Loretta from Twinsburg Police Department calling. Okay. Do I have your attention? Pardon me? Do I have your attention? What do you mean? Do I have your full attention? Yeah. What's wrong? Oh no! Do I need to sit down? No, no, no. You don't need to sit down. Everything's fine. I just want to let you know, congratulations. You won the prize. We had a contest. Since 2010, you've made 183 calls. In just the last five years,

35:43

We've won 954 traffic details on your street. That's 1,804 traffic stops. And for that, congratulations. You win the booby prize for being the dumbest resident in Twinsburg. Thank you for wasting our time. Have a wonderful life. Karen stood there, blank faced, trying to make sense of it all. What started as a harmless retirement pastime of aggressively fearing and stalking her neighborhood had ended with a dispatcher calling her to hand out a prize for stupidity. The dumbest resident? A booby prize?

36:12

And why were we bringing boobies into this? She had spent years triple locking her doors to avoid home invaders, and yet she was just violated through her phone line. In my own home! She shouted to her army of precious moments figurines. She turned the phone back over and began to dial 169 before stopping. She couldn't call the police on the police. There was no telling how far up this went. And now she wasn't even sure if any of her tips had ever been investigated.

36:40

With no faith left in her swarm protectors, Karen resorted to the second option on her speed dial.

36:48

You reached city hall!

36:53

On Friday, June 6th, 2025, Twinsburg 67-year-old Ohio woman, Karen Clinton, received a phone call she says she'll never forget. With the caller ID reading Twinsburg Police, she picked up the phone unprepared for what was waiting on the other line. Hello? may I speak to... Speaking. The Twin Thread Police Department calling. Okay. Do I have your attention? Pardon me?

37:22

Do I have your attention? What do need? Do I have your full attention? Yeah, what's wrong? Oh no, do I need to sit down? No, no, you don't need to sit down. Everything's fine. I just want let you know, congratulations. You've won the prize. You've a contest. You have made, since 2010, you've made 183 phone calls. And since the last time you were here, we have...

37:59

The person on the line was Loretta Nash, an actual dispatcher for the Twinsburg Police Department, making a call that Karen says

38:19

was to humiliate her by, quote, implying that she would make frivolous calls to 911. The dispatcher claimed that Karen had, quote, won the booby prize with a number of complaints she'd made before reading off call and traffic stop statistics for her home. But Karen, a former firefighter and dispatcher herself, says she never abused 911 and only ever contacted non-emergency lines or officers directly. She filed the formal complaint with City Hall that same evening. The Twinsburg police chief called to apologize within hours. But for Karen,

38:48

An apology wasn't enough. She pressed charges. She came into my home via telecommunications and she terrorized me in my own home. I want her charged. Clinton said. She pleaded not guilty to both charges on July 10th in Stowe Municipal Court. According to the city of Twinsburg, is no longer employed by the police department. A free trial hearing was scheduled for July 28th. If the case proceeds, Nash will stand trial on September 28th. I still can't understand why she singled me out.

39:18

And that's precisely what she did. She targeted me. And was one of the most cruel, heinous things.

39:28

And that is the true weight of a phone call. If you've never had the pleasure of experiencing devastating news through one of these handheld devices, you've now heard it firsthand through Karen's story. I used to think the worst thing a phone call could do was hurt my feelings, but Karen opened my eyes. Sometimes people don't just reach you, they enter your home through telecommunications just to terrorize you. Like a vampire requesting an invitation, any emotional terrorist can slip into your place of refuge disguised as a ringtone.

39:57

prank calling teenagers, disgruntled employees, Comcast Infinity Robo calls every single day. All the world's evils are standing outside your door, and all you have to do is pick up.

40:14

Okay, plot twist. I thought that Karen was the Karen and it turns out that Karen got Karen'd. Karen got Karen by somebody who hates her and probably their job a lot too. Well, their former job, I suppose. So they were an officer on the phone or just a dispatcher. She's just a dispatcher. Okay, okay. So the dispatcher lost her job from it and could be charged. Well, wait and see. It's still too new. Yeah, it's still too new.

40:42

Even if something went to trial or whatever, I didn't see anything when I looked it up last. I don't know if this was like a your last day of work sort of situation and or it was just your last time of like, I'm tired of doing extra work I don't want to do and this person seems to be the caller that causes a lot of it. I don't know, but somebody must have saw that she causes them a lot of work and felt that they wanted to make them feel stupid, which I don't know that's the way I would have went with it.

41:08

I love the thought of being a dispatcher and doing something nasty with it, I don't know about the booby prize and straight up just saying you're the stupidest person. Right. That escalated so quickly. Yeah. The disrespect. Don't bring boobies into this either. Come on. You know, they're a Karen. Yeah. If you're going to call them the stupidest person in the town or whatever, like you can't disguise that. If I want to put somebody down like that, I do it a little pointedly.

41:37

Yes. Because once they can smell it, they're just gonna tell on you because they're a Karen. Exactly! You think that somebody who has dedicated her every existence to dialing the non-emergency line for every little thing that they find, you don't think that they're gonna find someone else to call about you? Duh!

41:58

If it was me and I was like, maybe I'm trying to keep my job or maybe not try to poke the bear too hard. would just be like, oh, hey, we called up on this one and this one and this one. And can you tell me about this one? And I would like see if they saw how ridiculous it kind of felt. And if they were just like, yeah, that's really great. And be like, okay, you're doing us a great service. And if they don't catch on the sarcasm, then I keep my job, you know? I don't get charges by poking the bear of tattletaling. Yeah. You could have done it in a more clever way. Yeah. Made them feel silly or.

42:28

to realize how repetitive and how nonstop it was, or you could have just been professional and if it really was that big of a distraction, and even if you thought that her calls were totally uncalled for and just a problem, you could have just been like, listen, we appreciate you being very involved with your community, but these calls are getting a little out of hand. We ask that you really only call us for these reasons. Have a nice day. Bye. You don't have to be like,

42:56

You won the Teddy Award from your big old dumb dumb bum bum. Bye. Have a nice life. Your big stupid boob. And also, do you think that this dispatcher was like telling her other dispatcher coworkers what she was about to do and they were like hyping each other up? Or do you think she just totally went rogue and acted on her own accord and just made this call? You know, I don't know.

43:24

I don't think anything that I read really swayed it in any direction. I feel like she had to have let somebody know. Me too. That's what I was leaning towards because it's like, I'm sorry. It sounds like she was like a middle school girl prank phone calling another girl showing off in front of the other friends at a sleepover. I feel like she was definitely full of herself, like feeling it, thinking she was so cute, so funny.

43:53

You can hear the smile of satisfaction in her voice at the end. And I don't believe that your grudge is so against this woman that it would bring you that much joy alone. I think you'd have to feel like I'm also being a bad girl and kind of getting the eyes on you for a little uh bit. Yes, 100%. And to do it like that, only your coworkers truly know.

44:17

what you go through. Yes. Those are the people who would cheer you on the most if you were gonna do it. Exactly. I totally feel like it would be really easy to get a group of people to kind of echo chamber like, yeah, maybe we should prank phone call a civilian. Eek! Never Karen a Karen. You'll just end up getting Karen'd yourself. So what do you think about this whole, he entered my home via telecommunications and terrorized me. It sounds like something a Karen would say. Yeah.

44:46

It all adds up to me. Honestly, I'm more on the side of Karen. Definitely. Even though she clearly should not be up in everyone's business calling for stupid shit. I still am just like, ultimately you are the professional on the other end of the line. And I don't know how many customer service type jobs I've had to do. And me picturing myself just being like,

45:15

Hey booby, like, I can't even fathom it. And yes, I can be a petty hoe, but I'm not gonna do that at my job. And I think you'd get satisfaction in a much better way. I would hope. Yeah, that really shocked me. In Karen's defense though, I will say I don't know what any of her calls were for. Okay. When I heard people talking about it on the Daily Show.

45:38

They made a lot of nosy white people jokes, which is fine. I don't mind the humor, but I thought maybe they had more to go off of from that. But then when I started looking it up, I couldn't find anything that even referenced what she ever called about. So it could just be suspicious vehicles, 162 free intertimes, whatever. I assume some of these were probably maybe not needing a call. Yeah, I can definitely agree with that. But I am on her side 100%. She's right. She's right, but she's also annoying. Yeah.

46:06

Two things can be true at the same time. And you're very dramatic to say, come into my house via telecommuting. I just imagine somebody picking up the phone and going, ah, dropping the phone. And then you just seeing like the spirit come out of the phone and be like, I'm in your home. I know. She's like, ee. Yeah. Like she's definitely overly dramatic and definitely was calling them too much for this to even be a thing. But ultimately she's still not in the wrong here. No, she's not. Just a little bit dramatic.

46:36

I do hope that person doesn't get punished too terribly bad though. Yeah, I mean, they already lost their job. I feel like that alone. I mean, all her giggling little friends that thought she was so cool probably shut up real quick once they realized she got fired. Like what? We were both all just in the bathroom. What? We were all peeing at the same exact moment and we would have never encouraged that. Loretta was watching the phones. I don't know what was going on.

47:04

Wow, Trevin, well, great job. That was a fun one. Thank you. And I love a good recent crime. Yeah, it's hard to do a story with a person who makes a bunch of calls and making it a good story sometimes. it was really nice to make a story about a person that makes a lot of calls without having to shoehorn a bunch into the story. It didn't feel repetitive at all, like it probably did to the dispatch team. For sure.

47:36

Well, Trevin, I also have a petty crime story and this is one that I've been pondering about for quite a few weeks now. it's not a recent one though. It's just one that I found that I've been thinking about for quite some time. And I love the way it came together. It kind of ties into a location that we've mentioned a few times on the show. The bathroom. uh So it ties in really well.

48:05

and I'm not going to ruin it. So let's go ahead and just jump right in. Here we go.

48:15

It is unfortunate to lose a follower on social media, lose respect for someone you once admired, or lose your shit out in public. How do you keep living around all this injustice? Yet, there is nothing more soul-crushing than losing your driver's license. What may seem like a pitiful piece of plastic is really a key to a life of bliss. Without it, you can't buy fun items like tobacco.

48:44

lottery tickets, or guns. It also makes it nearly impossible to travel by car or plane. And don't even get me started on heading into the Devil's Den, aka the DMV, to create a new identification card. After waiting for hours, it's likely you'll be told that you forgot to bring in the correct piece of mail, or that you were five years past due on your personal property tax. Or worse.

49:12

You bring in all the proper documents only to have the DMV employee take your photograph mid-sneeze. One, two, three. Today's story is about a lost ID and the petty place it was found.

49:34

Inside a restaurant in Lakewood, Colorado during early 2013, the lobby was jam-packed with hungry pedestrians, appearing almost as cluttered as the building walls full of odd memorabilia. College kids filled their tabletops with boneless wings and beer, while couples split the romantic two for $20 meals. The servers were sweet, but their mixed drinks were even sweeter. If you hadn't already guessed, the restaurant

50:04

was an Apple piece. One of the waitresses was 24-year-old Rihanna Pretty, who had a beaming smile, blonde hair with dark brown locks underneath, and was, well, quite pretty. She was great with customers. She threw out mean meal suggestions and never left a water glass dry. Rihanna burned her fingerprints off from all the hot plates of spinach and artichoke dip she carried.

50:33

and even once finished a shift after buffalo sauce splattered in both of her eyes.

50:41

The busy evening was just another night on the job for Brianna. Apps were passed, drinks were chugged, and the tips were mediocre. The crowd had started to wind down 30 minutes before closing time with one last drunken man at the bar and a table of gossiping girls. Eventually, the stragglers exited the restaurant, leaving the Applebee's staff to perform their closing duties. Brianna tallied up her tips.

51:09

and clocked out before grabbing her personal belongings from the back. She hopped into her car, threw on some lip gloss, and drove over to a friend's house party. There was beer pong, jello shots, and nasty cheap liquor up for grabs. But Brianna deserved something better after her hard day at work. After making her rounds at the party, she told her friends she would be back soon with better booze. She then headed out to the closest liquor store. After wandering the aisles,

51:39

Brianna approached the cash register with a bottle of flavored vodka in hand. She was greeted by a large and intimidating man from behind the counter, stating, I'm gonna need to see your ID. She opened up her purse only to discover that her wallet with cash, credit cards, and her ID was gone. In a panic, she quickly retraced her steps throughout the day in her mind. She had stopped for gas that morning, had her nails done in the afternoon,

52:08

and made a few important purchases at a sex shop before her shift at Applebee's. Her thoughts were aggressively interrupted by the liquor store employee when he asked, Is there a problem here young lady? Without explanation, Rihanna sat the bottle of booze down on the counter and ran out the front door empty handed.

52:31

The following morning, she paid a visit back to all of her stops the previous day. She inspected the pumps at the gas station, scoured the shelves of vibrators at the sex shop, and treated herself to a quick pedicure at the nail salon. Only, at each location, Brianna grew more disappointed as her wallet and ID never appeared. For weeks, Brianna desperately hoped her wallet would turn up. It was a big inconvenience on her social life.

53:00

being unable to enter the clubs with her friends, and she panicked each day she spent riding dirty in her car. Plus, mysterious and expensive charges started appearing on her account. However, any situation was better than returning to the DMV for a new license. Come Monday, February 25th, Brianna was back at Applebee's, serving drinks, food, and looks in her red work polo.

53:28

It was a slower Monday night, with only a few tables in her section, when a group of three guys and one gal walked in. Of course, they were seated in Brianna's section, causing her to approach their table with a smile on her face. Welcome to Applebee's. My name is Brianna, and I'll be taking care of you this evening. Can I interest you all with a soda or cocktail to drink? Brianna asked politely while passing out beverage napkins. I'll have a Coors Light. A margarita, please.

53:57

Give me one of those short bowls. three men answered quickly while the woman took her time scanning the menu. Hmm. I'm so torn. How are your lemon drop martinis? Would you recommend them? The thirsty yet indecisive woman asked from her seat in the booth. That is one of my favorite drinks here. Brianna encouraged the upcharge with enthusiasm. I'll just need to see all of your IDs, please. This part of her job had become a constant reminder that her ID

54:27

was still missing in action. The customers handed her their IDs and Brianna scanned each one for their date of birth. The first young man had a horrible photo on his license. The second was born in Florida. And the third wasn't an organ donor. oh Yet they all proved to be of the legal drinking age. When Brianna got to the lady's ID, she was shocked to see they shared the same date of birth. She then noticed,

54:56

that they weighed the same, had the same colored eyes, and eerily enough lived at the same address. Brianna scanned the ID over to the photo, where to her surprise, she gazed straight into the eyes of her very own self-portrait. Brianna gulped as she tried to contain her emotions. It was difficult to believe that this was how she was reunited with her lost license.

55:30

On Wednesday, February 13th of 2013, 24-year-old Brianna Pretty lost her wallet carrying her credit card, $500 in cash, and her ID while out with friends at a house party. After weeks of searching for her belongings and dealing with unauthorized charges from her bank account, she was starting to lose hope that her wallet would ever be found. Yet on Monday, February 25th of the same year, Brianna was given a major clue.

56:00

while working as a waitress at the Lakewood, Colorado Applebee's Bar and Grill. Three unnamed men and one unnamed woman sat in our section and immediately ordered alcoholic beverages. When Brianna asked for their IDs, she was shocked to see that the woman had handed Brianna her own stolen driver's license. She kept her calm in front of the customers and made her way to the back of the restaurant, where she promptly told her managers and called local authorities.

56:28

Brianna was quoted by ABCnews.com saying, I don't know what came over me. I just wanted the cops there, so I had to act like everything was alright. I don't even remember exactly what I said. I was shaking like crazy. They were asking for a description and I said, no, she's sitting in the restaurant. You need to get down here now. I kept him around, got him some water, had him order appetizers. I don't know how I kept it cool. I wanted to jump across the table and go-

56:58

Once police arrived on scene, they arrested the unnamed woman and were confused to discover that she was the legal age of 26, making it very possible for her to use her own ID to purchase alcohol. A search of the woman's vehicle led to drugs, drug paraphernalia, and Brianna Pretty's student ID. Unfortunately, the wallet and the $500 was never recovered.

57:26

Lakewood Police spokesman Steve Davis had worked in law enforcement for over 30 years, and he said that this ranks in his top few most strange criminal circumstances. He was also quoted by ABC News.com, stating, Dumb criminal. That's the first word that comes to mind. Makes it suspicious why she would use Brianna's idea and not her own when she was old enough to buy a drink in a bar. I commend Brianna for being so calm and composed about the whole thing when she saw her own license.

57:56

Most people, I think, would have had some sort of reaction when they saw their own driver's license given to them. Ultimately, the 26-year-old thief faced charges of drug possession, theft, identity theft, and possible criminal impersonation. No punishments were ever listed publicly. To anyone out there who has recently lost their wallet, ID, or credit card, this story is for you.

58:25

Losing these cherished items can be a real buzzkill, especially when it prevents you from buying alcohol. However, this tragic tale does come with a happy ending, offering hope, karma, and best of all, justice. Keep your head on a swivel and your wallets in hand, because you could be scammed good while eaten in the neighborhood.

58:53

Damn, that one snuck up on me.

58:57

to put an eaten good in the neighborhood quote somehow some way in there. Definitely. Every time I talk about Applebee's, I love putting it in there. Oh my God. Somehow some way. We always find our way back to Applebee's. So we certainly do, Trevin. And I saw your face at the end there. You seemed very confused. I know it's a very weird, bizarre crime. And I kind of wanted...

59:22

to throw people off of the scent by throwing out all these other possible locations that I made up that she possibly could have lost the ID at. But it turns out she did in fact lose it at that house party. So that gal that later became her patron stole her ID or her wallet from her at a party and then just so happened to give her her ID back to her at the restaurant.

59:49

And she didn't even need to is like the extra dumb part. That's the thing I'm trying to make sense of. You just don't have a driver's license or did you really just misplace yours? Like I understand why you would steal somebody's wallet and I understand why you want to take their money and their debit cards. Yeah. And if you were selling fake IDs or something, I would see why you would want the ID. Totally. But if you weren't carded for alcohol, I don't know, just why do you have it? You know what?

01:00:17

I mean, maybe it could have been the fact, maybe she did have her own ID, but just because she had stolen all the things in the scrolls wallet, maybe she just accidentally gave that to her. Or maybe, like you said, she had lost her ID and she was just going to use this to get a drink. I don't know. It never said. There were very, very, very few minimal articles on this, but I just thought how damn ironic.

01:00:46

Kind of like I did the story back in the day where the man stole the jewelry and then tried to pawn it off at the store where the people, it was their jewelry or whatever. But yeah, just another dumb ass way of turning yourself right in. A very weird coincidence. Yes. This kind of makes me think about something that I feel like we talk about with these characters a lot is how they've probably done this multiple times and this is nothing new to them.

01:01:15

If I stole somebody's ID or wallet or something, I would have looked at the ID so many times and been like, I wonder what their life's like. Are they missing this ID right now? Mr. John Dickmore from Alabaster, Washington or something. Like that would be me, but these people probably don't think of them as real people. I just like, I got it. I got this stuff. Yeah. The empathy is clearly lacking if they're

01:01:44

running up all these charges on someone else's account and doing all this shit. If I stole somebody's ID, I would be like, oh shit, that's the person from my idea. I stole like, I would pick them out. No, is like definitely one of those dumbass criminal moments where it's like, if you just would have had any sort of awareness, you could have prevented this. You could have.

01:02:09

totally been like, two and two equals four. That's the girl I stole from. Maybe I'll just order a Coke tonight. Does she look familiar to me? My God. If I was her, would have definitely been like, thanks Trevon here. I just handed it right back. But also I had to give Brianna's due here and give her a little pat on the back. Really though.

01:02:34

She's not a professional actress. Like this is happening to her in real time. This has been something that it was only like a three week span, I think in between, but she was stressed out that entire time. This is something that was clearly affecting her negatively. And to keep her composure when it's like, I caught you bitch. Like I think for me, it would have been hard. My face would have probably given it some sort of reaction away. And then

01:03:01

I can just be so emotional and reactive that I would probably just be like, you little slut. Yeah. But maybe I guess it would depend when you put two and two together, but if you figured it out right in that situation, I don't know if you'd be able to keep it back. Like I could see you holding it together and going to the back and making the call, but I think I'd just be like, the fuck.

01:03:29

Like, you stupid, you're looking right at me. Who do you think I am? I'm not gonna go fetch you a lemon drop. Maybe, maybe I'm not giving myself enough credit. I don't know. But great job, Brianna, pretty. Oh my God, for sure. That would be very hard. You and I have talked about doing a couple hidden undercover situations. And the more I think about that as a reality, the more I'm like, do I have what it takes to put myself in a situation where

01:03:58

I know something they don't know and I'm purposely tricking them. Oh yeah. I think I could handle it anyway. I don't know. I can't speak for you. I think for the entertainment I could. So connections, we both randomly talked about your police department needed more money for guns. I talked about how when you lose your ID, you can't buy a gun. We were both kind of being silly with that. Silly with guns.

01:04:25

Maybe don't do that as the title. No, please no. We need people to fucking do much less of that. Yes. Also, we did talk about Florida randomly, both of us, both of them just stupid little throwaway comments again. But do you have any more generalized big picture connections? Phone calls.

01:04:48

I mean, I guess my gal did have to collect herself and make a phone call on a very awkward situation where yours was kind of the opposite. The phone call was a super unnecessary situation that then became awkward. But I don't know. Is there any other tie in I'm just not thinking of? I don't know. I'm having a hard time with this one. Did we fall out of sync this week? Yeah, maybe we did. Maybe we can let this

01:05:16

Be up to the listeners this week. Tell us if you have a better connection than any of those really small, weird ones that I just did. Yeah, let us know what sticks out to you guys. We need help this week. Yeah. Well, I just hope everyone is having the best week and just remember, no matter the crime, big or small, in the end, we're all doomed. Doomed to make a call. Bye. Ring ring.

01:05:43

If you would like to nominate someone for our booby award, head on over to Patreon where we do fun things like the Petty's Award Show. And do use any of the social media platforms that I just threw a fit about? Well, I hope you follow me on there because this work is really annoying. Follow us on Facebook, TikTok, Instagram or threads. Live, laugh, larceny.

01:06:03

And have you ever had your stolen ID returned to you in an Applebee's? If so, send us your petty crime story. Live, laugh, larceny at gmail.com. And give our show the same rating I would give the most royal phone call. Five stars. There was no operators listening to that shit. our podcast wherever you rate shows. Apple, Spotify, or Goodpods.

01:06:30

Brianna burned her fingertips off. Her fingertips? I meant fingerprints. She has no fingertips the rest of the story. The fuck?