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Welcome back to another hilariously petty episode of Live, Laugh, Larceny! This week, the world tour is in jeopardy, but fear not – we've got the episode that will save music! Get ready for an uproarious mix of awkward doctor visits, corporate destinies, dark children’s stories, Wild West myths, and celebrity scandals. Let’s dive into the delightful chaos that is Episode 165: "This is Going to Ruin the Tour."
Trevin’s Floppy Eyelids and Amanda’s Corporate Destiny
Trevin starts off by sharing his awkward eye doctor appointment to investigate why his eyelashes grow downward. With the doctor muttering strange medical terms, Trevin couldn’t help but imagine phrases like “ocular foreskin.” The diagnosis? Floppy eyelid syndrome, likely caused by poor sleep hygiene. Who knew?
Meanwhile, Amanda recounts a recent restaurant encounter where an elderly lady, impressed by Amanda’s friendliness, suggested she should work in HR. Amanda dramatically reminisces about her corporate past, humorously lamenting a possible return to the world of human resources.
Two Truths and a Lie: Dark Mermaids and the Tame Wild West
In our “Two Truths and a Lie” segment, Amanda and Trevin delve into some fascinating facts. Amanda covers the differences between Hans Christian Andersen’s original The Little Mermaid and Disney’s 1989 animated version. Spoiler alert: the original tale is much darker, featuring tongue-cutting and murder – a far cry from the cheerful undersea adventures of Ariel.
Trevin’s segment takes us to the Wild West, debunking myths and uncovering truths. Did you know Will Smith turned down the role of Neo in The Matrix? Also, contrary to popular belief, bank robberies were quite rare in the Wild West, with only about eight reported cases. Who knew the frontier was relatively tame?
Celebrity Petty Crimes: JT, Madonna, and a Whole Lotta Knockers
Amanda dives into her first-ever celebrity petty crime story, focusing on the recent arrest of Justin Timberlake. She sets the stage with a prologue about fame and the celebrity hierarchy, humorously categorizing the different lists of celebrities. In her story, Amanda hilariously reenacts Justin’s arrest, including a slowed-down, dark version of “Hit Me Baby (One More Time),” as Justin imagines Britney haunting him.
Trevin and Amanda then discuss the true crime, highlighting Justin’s dramatic declaration, “This is going to ruin the tour,” while in the cop car. The officer’s confusion (“What tour?”) and Justin’s emphatic response (“The world tour!”) have since become a viral meme, with people using it to exaggerate minor inconveniences.
Trevin’s story shifts to the intersection of sex in media and advertising. He cites examples like Paris Hilton’s sexy Carl’s Jr. burger ad and Kim Kardashian’s Skechers Shape-ups commercials. The narrative follows Justen, an accountant at Lipshitz and Taint, who awkwardly fits in with his “boss babe” coworkers. Justen buys them tickets to Madonna’s Celebration tour, expecting a biblical Madonna experience. Instead, he’s shocked by the provocative show, leading to the debut of Amanda’s parody song, “Knockers.”
The Story Behind "Knockers"
In the parody song “Knockers,” Madonna (played by Amanda) belts out hilariously cheeky lyrics:
Boobs Yeah, I got ‘em They could sink a ship, They got a nip on the tip And I flaunt ‘em They look good In a sweater And I rock the house When I open my blouse In warm weather
Justen, overwhelmed by the overt sexuality of the show, decides to sue Madonna, claiming he was forced to watch pornography. The real twist? This is based on the true story of Justen Lipeles, who actually sued Madonna for a similar reason. Amanda and Trevin discuss the absurdity of the lawsuit, debating whether it’s a publicity stunt or a genuine grievance.
Wrapping Up: High Production, High Laughs
This episode is one of our highest production efforts, featuring the “Hit Me Baby” remix and the debut of “Knockers.” Trevin and Amanda’s banter is on point as they explore pop culture’s ridiculousness, from nip slips to the “Justins” and Britney Spears.
Full "Knockers" Lyrics
The episode concludes with the full version of “Knockers,” complete with a humorous bridge where Amanda rattles off funny synonyms for boobs:
Comfort Melons, headlights, honkers Milk jugs or some massive chonkers Yaboos, fun bags, even bee stings Chesticles or sweater puppies Hangers, bangers and the twins Mud flaps, flap jacks, lady mountains Tatas, nom-noms, juggernauts Nipple holsters, tater-tots
Don’t miss out on this star-studded, laugh-out-loud episode of Live, Laugh, Larceny. Listen now and join Trevin and Amanda as they hilariously dissect the petty crimes and absurdities of celebrity life!
By incorporating all these elements, we’ve created an SEO-friendly, engaging, and highly searchable blog post that retains the playful humor of the original synopsis. Enjoy Episode 165: "This is Going to Ruin the Tour" – it’s a wild ride!
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